I understand your desire to do so, Hugs, but I would urge you to think what is best for your dad. Would he be more disoriented if he then had to return to the care home later by which time there might not be a space at that care home.? They are businesses after all. Unless you are prepared for him t...

Hi Mark, Your first contact should be to Social Services and say that your mother is unable to cope living alone, your brothers unable to care and that she needs an urgent care assessment. In these cash-strapped times you can bet your bottom dollar, Social services will do everything they can to avo...

Hi, I used to have this problem with mum. Meals I did which were deemed "acceptable" was sausage casserole, with baby potatoes, carrots and peas in it, bolognaise type sauce but NOT with pasta which was foregin, chicken stew and minced beef hotpot. Basically anything saucy which was going to stand b...

Marite, Putting aside the moral obligation. Your employer cannot insist that you take a test unless that is written in your contract. However, you can be subject to disciplinary procedures for refusing to obey a "reasonable instruction" by management. Dependent on your own company's procedures, you ...

Neil, Sending sincere condolences on the loss of your mum. Mine died 6 years ago but I still miss her but of course the pain is less acute. Please read the second sentence of your post. You cared for her for years which is what she knew and recognised. In the last few days of your life she may have ...

Hi Helen, And welcome to the Forum. Hope you find it useful. A strange situation as most councils are moving towards direct payments. However, one option that you might want to consider as a compromise is that the council pays your agency directly their share and you pay what I understand to be the ...

I enjoy this too, David, despite the fact that I don't have an artistic bone in my body. I think his voice is very soothing too.

Hi Simon,

I'm afraid we are not going to be much of a help to you here as this Forum is for unpaid caregivers, largely family members. Have you tried your local Social Services department; mine does advertise carers on their website.

Good luck in finding someone suitable,
Anne

How did she get on with the memory test, Carol? Have you contacted Social Services to get a care assessment? Expect some fights to get suffficient carers. My only advice is make sure you are present at the assessment. My mum would have said that she did not need carers and told them she did her own ...

Anne, You have been through so much, as of course has your husband, it is hardly surprising that you are now suffering the after effects. In a sense, I would say that you are suffering from PTSD, not that I am a medical expert. As for how people cope with the level of care and responsibility, I gues...