Hi Elizabeth, Welcome to the Forum. I am sure you know already that this cannot continue. You do not need your dad's permission to contact Social Services. His needs override his wants at this stage. I would suggest contacting them urgently for a care assessment. You will need to raise merry hell to...

I too am an only child, Patricia, and everything fell on me. On the plus side, you are able to make decisions without consulting anyone else. Good to hear you feel a bit less alone. My only advice at this stage - GP and then lists, every time you have a difficult call, make a note of it, time, date,...

I do think that those who cannot use the internet are at a disadvantage, but you have done well, you have found the Forum and also how to post.

Any other questions, just shout, we were all new once.

Oh, and many of us are not spring chickens

Patricia, What a dreadful state of affairs. I am at a loss to know why mum requires a blood test for dementia. I know of no such test. An MRI can determine vascular dementia. However, in short, you have a dementia diagnosis so from there, I would contact your Social Services department and ask for a...

Anna, What a sad situation but i do think you are doing the right thing by going back to work and re-carving a life for yourself. I love the expression "by holding him together, I am falling apart". I think that sums up the carer's life perfectly. You are not returning to the life you had before. Th...

Samantha, I am a bit late seeing this but it was just this sort of job that I used mum's attendance allowance to pay for. Additionally, you mention transport issues. As you are in London, are you signed up to Com Cabs. I used their black cabs for transporting mum to appointments. The drivers are all...

Sonia, Welcome to the Forum. I would say just the opposite. Keeping yourself sane and able to care is probably the wisest thing you can do. Your husband will benefit in the long run if you do not feel trapped and resentful. It is essential to carve out some time for yourself. Carry on working! Anne

I understand your desire to do so, Hugs, but I would urge you to think what is best for your dad. Would he be more disoriented if he then had to return to the care home later by which time there might not be a space at that care home.? They are businesses after all. Unless you are prepared for him t...

Hi Mark, Your first contact should be to Social Services and say that your mother is unable to cope living alone, your brothers unable to care and that she needs an urgent care assessment. In these cash-strapped times you can bet your bottom dollar, Social services will do everything they can to avo...

Hi, I used to have this problem with mum. Meals I did which were deemed "acceptable" was sausage casserole, with baby potatoes, carrots and peas in it, bolognaise type sauce but NOT with pasta which was foregin, chicken stew and minced beef hotpot. Basically anything saucy which was going to stand b...