Kerry, you sound exhausted which is hardly surprising. Like you, when caring for my mum, it was only my job and this Forum which kept me sane. Do you have the same GP as mum? If not, you will need to contact both. Contact your GP and explain the situation, stress that you can no longer cope and need...

Tina, Welcome to the Forum. To be honest, it sounds as if you are pretty aware of what is going on and what you need. Counselling will be expensive but, I think, hugely beneficial. Not least because many stage 4 diagnosed cancer patients now live a long life.Many links to finding a decent counsellor...

Markyboy, No, there are no easy solutions. I would book a GP appointment for mum, not of course because she needs a dementia assessment ;) but maybe an elderly persons check-up. I phoned my mum's GP and asked him to see her on this pretext as mum would have refused. The advantage to a diagnosis is t...

It is so sad, Lauren, I went through similar episodes with my mum. Try to enjoy the good times with her because there will be good times in amidst all the heartache. If nan asks about going home, it might be worth asking her what she likes best about her home, or what she remembers doing there. When...

Hi Julie, Sorry to hear about your mum. In my own case I contacted the council refuse department and they flagged that my mum was vulnerable and they would come into the front garden to remove the bins. Also the carers fed my mum's cat. I need to be present originally to show how much and what to fe...

Hi Liz, And welcome to the Forum. I found myself in a similar situation with my mum and eventually found that she required more care than I was physically and mentally able to give. If your husband were to be in a nursing home, you would be able to visit and do the nice things for him, while paid ca...

Hi Amanda, and welcome to the Forum, I am so sorry to hear about your partner. It must be a dreadful time for you. I wonder whether it is worth going to your GP and see if he can give you something to get you through this difficult period. It is the old adage about putting your lifejacket on before ...

Welcome to the Forum, Gloria. After so long caring for your husband, it must be a huge readjustment and make you feel very lonely. You have taken the first step by coming onto this Forum. I know that when my mum first went into a nursing home, I felt redundant. Are you visiting your husband in the h...

Hi Caroline, Welcome to the Forum. I think many of us feel as you do. I cared for my mum until her death. And I felt frequently trapped, resentful, even bored. That is not to say that I did not love her but many of us are reluctant carers. It is why sometimes we need this Forum, so that we can let o...

Welcome to the Forum, Susan, and I am sorry to hear about your husband. Yes, your own health must come first. Does your sister have any other form of support? What support are you currently providing? Maybe it is time for your sister to have a care assessment, rely more on paid carers and you simply...