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- Member
Sun Dec 11, 2016 2:41 pm
Little more than a decade ago , THE CARERS LETTER ... out of CarerWatch with a little help from supporting academics / suits.
https://www.carersuk.org/forum/news-and ... ps-etc-303
2018 ... a revamp ... welcome to LORD KITCH ... the modern day equivalent ... and expressed in PLAIN ENGLISH.
Trouble is , he is not kidding .... and never has been ?
https://www.carersuk.org/forum/news-and ... ps-etc-303
2018 ... a revamp ... welcome to LORD KITCH ... the modern day equivalent ... and expressed in PLAIN ENGLISH.
We have run out of money.
The country is in crisis , social care is in meltdown , and my gold plated pension scheme is in deficit.
We need volunteers for the carers army.
Ever been press ganged ?
Now's your opportunity as any support services are rather like finding six numbers to agree with those of Camelot.
Unsung heroes that have bailed us out for years.
Despite terrible conditions , hardly any pay , no prospects , nearly no support and no exercisable rights enjoyed by others , hundreds if not low thousands " Volunteer " for duty every month.
We need more ... otherwise the 40% tax rate may have to rise ...
It beats being unemployed even if we pay them more than you !
6,000 PER DAY are joining ... sorry ... being press ganged as I speak.
Age ?
Not a problem. As young as 5 , as old as 103 , we take them all !
Disabled ?
No problem , many disabled carers are already enlisted.
When you start to receive your state pension , we will , of course , cease to pay you Carers Allowance.
After all , we can't let you receive more than one " Benefit " can we ?
If you find any spare time while caring , why not find yourself some paid employment ? If you earn more than £ 123 per week , no Carers Allowance will be paid , an 100% clawback.
Why not study to improve your future prospects ?
If you spend more than 21 hours per week studying , we will , of course , not pay you any Carers Allowance. If any problems , we wil require written evidence of your mode of study just to ensure that you are not pulling a fast one.
Why not be really patriotic and care for 2 or 3 ?
Sorry we cannot afford to provide any extra rations.
If more than one of you is needed to care for a caree , sorry , only one Carers Allowance ration allowed.
For a few of the lucky ones who have fallen through the net , free meals are on offer from your local food bank. Latest figures show a minimum of 100,000 of you taking advantage of our generous offer !
Even top ups for those prepayment meters that go round like catherine wheels whenever you put that kettle on ! And , if they spin too fast and catch fire , we send out the fire brigade at no cost to yourself !
Caree in hospital ?
I hope it's not longer than 28 days as we will have to stop your Carers Allowance ration. Travelling each day to visit your caree and / or staying over ? How good of you but don't expect us to pick up the tab.
On many occasions , we will release your caree early ... don't want then overstaying , do we ? Time for you to practice those nursing skills at home ... cannot afford to waste valuable NHS resources , can we ?
Need readmitting ?
Oh dear , time for you to brush up on those nursing skills ... even doctoring ones in some cases ... in the event of the same thing happening again.
Feeling unwell , or just had an accident , and need to be hospitalised ?
We'll look after your caree until you are able to care again. Nice surprise will be waiting for you. Our bill , at a minimum of £ 15 per hour , more on weekends and public holidays , for our services .
A Carer's Assessment ?
Fine ... although you may well have to wait for anything upto a year for one.
We'll probably offer you the whole world for free but ... if it means that someone else has to look after after your caree , we'll probably charge £ 15+ per hour for the baby sitter.
Visit to your gp surgery ?
No problem , same treatment as all others … no medals or being fast tracked for a family carer.
Caring days ended and residing in social housing , and not on the tenancy ?
Oh dear ... bad luck ... your local cardboard city awaits while you find yourself a job and somewhere to live.
Similarily , under 60 and still live with your caree ?
If your caree's needs are too much , and residential care is needed , be aware that we will take large chunks out of any equity to pay for their care. Still , leaving them with £ 23,000 odd is quite generous , on their death , we'll ask for your home to be sold to pay for our charges. Even then , we still chip away at you assets if our costs exceed the limit.
We'll even tax some of you for having extra space in your homes. After all , we cannot afford to increase taxes and loose votes , can we ?
Need residential care yourself ?
Why not move your caree into the home with you … double bubble if you need to pay !
Travelling on public transport with your caree ?
Fine , full fare like everyone else ... except for guide dogs of course , they go free ! So , to get free transport , just dress up as a guide dog and travel with your caree !
And , when your caring days are ended , don't expect us to provide a " Former Carers Welfare Officer " to help you adjust to life on the outside. We only provide that service to prisoners !
If you sign on at your local job centre for JSA , we will not take into account Carers Allowance as contributions , we will only pay you JSA if your income is below the financial limit currently in operation. Sorry , but caring is disallowed for automatic JSA. So , if you cannot afford to lose £ 62.50 per week when your caring end , get a job like everyone else.
No union. No representation. We have even gagged your supporting organisations.
Zero hour contracts ?
There are no contracts in your gulag ..... sorry , world , to worry about.
Just keep caring until you drop. That's all we ask ... and expect from you.
Your time is now !
Trouble is , he is not kidding .... and never has been ?
