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dla to pip - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

dla to pip

Discuss news stories and political issues that affect carers.
And any of us could be run over by a bus tomorrow. I visited Christchurch just before the last fatal earthquake, my son, grandson and I could so easily have been added to the statistics. So why worry, we know death will come to us all, often when least expected, and that death can be seen merely as a blessed release from a life that is often tormented by pain, fear and anxiety; and yet 60 or 70% of people refuse to even draw up a Will, in some kind of collective denial. I'm honestly not bothered by death, I think the only way to defeat it is to laugh in its face.
And that's fine, Scally. It doesn't work for everyone, though. And let's be honest - it tends to be harder on mums because dads still tend to be the one that's not around so much. Or has the greater degree of care to deliver.

It's quite easy to be academic about it when it isn't happening: much different when it does happen.

Death may be inevitable, but the average age at death is over 75. Anyone who dies before that is not simply a statistic, or aberration. Nor a "disturbance in the Force." They are a loved one. A friend. And the journey to death is not always quick and clean, and rarely pleasant, only sometimes dignified.

Dad was 83 when he died and had lived a pretty full life until the last 12 months or so, and his death was totally expected. But watching him take his last breaths was incredibly difficult.
Scally, you could have been added to the statistics, but you WERE NOT,and that is the difference. Almost dead is not actually dead.My younger son was rushed into hospital 8 times, in Intensive Care,but the feeling of a bereaved parent is nothing like the feeling of an "almost" bereaved parent.Eun's situation is different,her family is living with different expectations every day.

Charles,my Dad was almost 83 when he died,and I miss him very much every day, but his was a life well lived(as with your Dad),and it was his time to go. He was ready.
scally has turned this round to death where the main point was handling the caring needs and doing the best for our carees that aren't in any fit mental state to attend a pip assessment,or shouldn't attend because of fully documented information by professionals,or would be difficult to assess because of mental capacity by non qualified assessors.i've read scally's opinions and replied to a couple,i don't agree with any and an old saying comes to mind "if you haven't got anything positive to say,don't say anything at all",i'm fully aware that it's a forum and people have different opinions but scally's don't seem to be that of somebody in a caring role,i'd of expected that kind of comments off a couple of the taxi drivers who think i'm a scrounger and that all scroungers should be put in a poor house,yes we all die but the point is the bit in the middle and the quality especially.
[The only thing left to argue about is the timing. I suspect that both your son, and mine, took a great deal more from the State last year than the vast majority of world citizens of other countries earned from their hard labour. The average Ghanain farmer earns about £1,000 a year, to feed his whole family, and there is no free education, welfare state or NHS to provide a safety net. We really are not that badly off, are we?]quote, Scally.

Just wondering what the point of this comparison is?We are not in Ghana, we are in UK.

Malc, I agree with you,and I am sorry that this thread has taken such a different turn.It must be very stressful for you,worrying about your wife's future needs and whether you and she will get the financial support that you need.
scally has turned this round to death where the main point was handling the caring needs and doing the best for our carees that aren't in any fit mental state to attend a pip assessment,or shouldn't attend because of fully documented information by professionals,or would be difficult to assess because of mental capacity by non qualified assessors.i've read scally's opinions and replied to a couple,i don't agree with any and an old saying comes to mind "if you haven't got anything positive to say,don't say anything at all",i'm fully aware that it's a forum and people have different opinions but scally's don't seem to be that of somebody in a caring role,i'd of expected that kind of comments off a couple of the taxi drivers who think i'm a scrounger and that all scroungers should be put in a poor house,yes we all die but the point is the bit in the middle and the quality especially.
Well said malc, totally agree.
No, I didnt. I think you will find it was you, Malcolm who introduced the topic of fatal illness very early on (see below). This is known in other places as "shroud waving" and is generally frowned on as a means of progressing a debate because it seeks to claim the moral high ground and suppress alternative views of mortality. And besides, what could be more positive than my cheerful approach to death as simply one of life's normal events, Malcolm? (I speak as someone who has had two relatives die in the last fortnight, it's totally normal, its natural, and its all part of the grand circle of life, regardless of circumstances, life doesn't come with any guarantees, we just have to make the best of the cards we get dealt - maybe thats my Roman Catholic childhood indoctrination still working on my conscience!)
By the way, there is nothing intrinsically unusual about thread drift, it is part of a normal conversational progression. And can we please bear in mind that if we dont disagree with each other, there is actually no point at all of being here? For example, Malcolm, I also disagree with most of your opinions: but that doesn't mean I dont respect your right to say them, merely that I have a different conclusion. And it doesn't give you an excuse to say that I am not a 'true' carer, either, I have heard that far too often on this forum and it invariably comes when someone has lost an argument and descends into personal attacks. We are all carers here, its just that some of do it differently from others.

Daylily: this forum is for opinions, not echoes, we are trying to engage in original and constructive debate here not running a beauty contest, placing a 'thumbs up' or voting for "The Voice". Whilst I am sure your sincere opinions are heartfelt, if we all "agreed" or "disagreed" with every post in a great long list then this would be a very dull place to visit.
scally,with all due respect .......i'm sure you weren't suffering from a disease that will eventually kill you,that makes you scared to live and generally makes your life more of an existence than fulfilling......quote]
Okay, let's stop there.

Malc/Daylily: Scally is entitled to express his opinions - as is everyone else. Personally on at least some of this issue I disagree with him, but that's ok. It certainly doesn't make him any less of a carer, and I'm pretty certain he chooses to tell us only the positives because he prefers to take a positive outlook and is in a position to do so: he has much to be proud of where his son is concerned.

Scally: there is a huge difference in seeing someone live a full life over many years and having it taken away. That's not shroud waving. That's trying to cope with something that's pretty near unbearable, especially when you are helpless to do anything about it. When that happens, it's near impossible to be positive about very much at all.

A little understanding goes a long way.

Now the topic:

DLA/PIP assessments are going to cover everyone, as far as the politicians are concerned. Personally I think it's daft, but that's politicians for you. Would that they applied the same rules to themselves for their expenses.

Some people who it seems will be assessed include Malc's wife, and quite rightly he feels that - given the number of consultants involved in his wife's care - she should be exempt from this.
on a final note i wasn't saying scally wasn't a true carer i said that i wouldn't of expected his response in this way,i mentioned the disease will kill her as another way of saying terminal,i didn't feel i was losing the argument at all and finally if you will quote me put all the text not just part of it so it can be read in context what it read was with all due respect you didn't take your 11 plus or job interviews when you didn't know what day it is etc,charles that is all i have to say on the matter,i've got too much going on in my life to squabble on the forum i use to ease the pressures of my caring role and apologise if i offended anybody but if i believe people are wrong i will say something,THE END!!!!!!!!!
And that's fine, Malc.

By all means say that you don't agree. I haven't said otherwise.

Scally felt that you were describing him as not being a true carer. I think that stemmed from your comment about not believing that a carer would say what he has said:
i'm fully aware that it's a forum and people have different opinions but scally's don't seem to be that of somebody in a caring role
Carers come in all shapes, sizes and beliefs. Scally believes that death is a topic to speak openly about, without undue reverence. Which is fine as long he considers the feelings of others. Others feel differently, and in a forum such as this, that will bring about clashes of opinion - again, fine as long as everyone considers that others have feelings too. These things usually crop up at the weekend Image And it's a longer weekend this time Image

Weekends are when carers receive the least support and feel the most frustrated. Maybe that's it.

Anyway, whatever the reason, please remember: if you're unhappy about the content of a post, report it. Easiest way is to click on the ! symbol on the top right of the offending post. Let the mods handle it.