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Carers UK Forum • Carer 82 starved to death while trying to care for 2.......
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Carer 82 starved to death while trying to care for 2.......

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:48 am
by Butterfly
disabled adult children...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -told.html
This is very upsetting.
So much for all the talk about finding 'hidden carers'.
Why couldnt they 'find' Molly?
She was 82 for goodness sake.
They must have been known to all the various departments over the years.
Shame nobody cared for the carer.
How many more carers like Molly are out there?
RIP with love Molly.

It's very likely from reading

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:55 am
by charles47
It's very likely from reading the report that social services and pretty much everyone else had no idea the family was there. This is such a sad case.

Re: Carer 82 starved to death while trying to care for 2....

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:04 am
by Guest
disabled adult children...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -told.html
This is very upsetting.
So much for all the talk about finding 'hidden carers'.
Why couldnt they 'find' Molly?
She was 82 for goodness sake.
They must have been known to all the various departments over the years.
Shame nobody cared for the carer.
How many more carers like Molly are out there?
RIP with love Molly.
In fact the headline is disingenuous, the coroner recorded a verdict of]death by natural causes, compounded by self neglect, Ms Englehart said: 'This is a very sad case.'[/i]

This lady was exercising her right not to involve social services, if the State had imposed services on her which she and her son and daughter did not want no doubt there would also be a public outcry. This sort of case is extremely difficult for social services departments or the health service to deal with, unless there is a question of neglect of the individual(s) being cared for they cannot just impose services on the family. I really do not think that there is enough information in this story to judge anyone.

'It was obvious she needed

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:49 pm
by Scally
[quote]'It was obvious she needed medical attention, but she wouldn't let anyone in the house.
'I said go and see them, but she said "oh no, I don't like doctors".'
In recording a verdict of death by natural causes, compounded by self neglect, Ms Englehart said]

It's a tricky one ... social work might have moved in earlier to intervene if the (middle-aged) carees were at risk, but that doesn't seem to have been the case. Ultimately she was exercising her right to autonomy. Social services are not perfect, but then neither is anything else in this world ... its a shame that she felt unable to accept help from her neighbour when it was offered. I meet too many carers like this - following a couple of negative experiences, they develop a kind of insularity and become very hard to help. Ultimately she was a poor carer because she let the children down very, very badly by failing to plan ahead or seek help.

We need to remember that just because people are carers, that doesn't mean they are right.

iam a carer and iam

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:49 pm
by g.herschel
iam a carer and iam always right


but seriously if attendance allowance ws removed we will see more and more elderly like the old doll who want nothing to do with social services she would rather lose the money then have them on our case do the elderly not have a right as to who will care for them ? we do not want strangers in our home looking after the old doll she gets first class care from me and she is treated with respect , dignity & compassion within her own home she is not isolated and is part of the community she is active and is respected by the community and that is just what GORDON BROWN has said time after time .
All we want is the odd few weeks respite care a bit more cash to get by and thats it her care costs £120 per week (thats carers allowance and attendance allowance) i have been informed by local authority that a domicilary care worker costs £17 an hour thats £136 for just 8 hours work so if we lost the attendance allowance just for the local authority to stand still financialy each elderly disabled person would be looking at just a handfull of hours care per week it just cant be done .

George, it's highly possible, if

Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 3:06 pm
by charles47
George, it's highly possible, if not likely, that if she was shunning all contact with officialdom she wasn't even getting DLA for her adult children, or AA for herself.

The sad part is that they could quite possibly all have been alive and well and living at home together right now if she had accepted a little help.

We all need the grace

Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 5:18 pm
by Scally
We all need the grace to accept help - paid or otherwise - from others throughout our lives - and just imagine what might happen in future to any of us. I trust my life in my local garage mechanic, for example, as I have no idea what makes my car work. And I trust my doctor to provide me with good medical care when I need it too.

Would we wish or expect a relative to put their life on hold for five, ten, or more years, whilst they provide us with exclusive, round the clock intimate care? Far better for the relative to move towards a care-partnership role, staying involved regularly but monitoring the performance and care provided by the professionals and intervening if standards are too low.

Most care workers and nurses are conscientious and caring people, most of them genuinely want to do a good job, or at the very least maintain their standing and not receive complaints. And complaints are very bad publicity in the NHS, Social Services, and private sector alike, a serious mistake can destroy careers and businesses.