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Ageing without children - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Ageing without children

Discuss news stories and political issues that affect carers.
Yes BB I know where you are coming from. I had considered buying a single bed. Went to a well known bed shop, on my own. Same as you, a couple were 'pounced' on even though I was in the shop before them.
I too walked out esp when the young man said he thought I was waiting for a partner!!! What? Don't single people buy a new bed. Even if you have a partner are you not allowed to purchase a bed alone. I was seething and found it so painful.
Have actually changed my mind. Keeping the double bed. It was only because I was thinking it's a waste washing king size bedding. It's not though. I have plenty of bedding. Have washing machine and tumble drier (unfortunately still used even though it's July!!)
I nearly emailed the company but for some reason I didn't get round to it
I thought a single bed would be a good idea when I moved into my garage bedroom. BIG mistake. Never slept well for fear of falling out if I moved, so I bought a new double bed instead. Silly thing is, after 10 years of sleeping alone, I always sleep on "my" side of the bed, although it means walking right round. I just cannot get into bed the wrong side!
Dear BB & Pet

I do sympathise with the loss of your husbands and can understand the problems you face (being a single woman of a certain age it's something I've had to cope with most of my life !), but this topic concerns the problem of those of us who have not had children and who will not have anyone to act as 'advocate' when we are ill and infirm and heaven help us if we develop dementia and have no-one to speak up for us. You are both fortunate in that you have loving children who will ensure your well-being and safety in your dotage.

So could I please, politely ask you to keep to the original topic ?
Thank you :)
I do apologise Susieq. The topic went off the thread. Not intentionally. I will try to be more mindful in future xx
Thanks very much for the link, Susie. It does concern me and has got me worried. I do have a close friend who is ten years younger but she lives in Germany and thinks if Brexit happens we are unlikely to spend 'our old age' together.
Even my brother has no children, none of the three of us married, but he does have me, and I'm 13 years younger than him.
The details really hit home - it is not just the caring, which I'm not doing in a physical sense, it is the organizing, the phone calls, the finances. Today I have been trying to contact the hospital he was discharged from - 4 phone calls - and four phone calls to get a plumber who can mend the boiler today, as I insist on my Saturday out - although admittedly my brother doesn't need running hot water as the carers can mix water from the kettle in a bowl. I have also organized the district nurse and the foot clinic. I have been sorting things out for my brother because the hospital simply believe everything he tells them, and I am the only person apart from the care agency who knows he won't take his tablets.

All I can do is hope that enough of us baby boomers will be alive when I'm older to organize some method of sorting things out. But my hopes are no great when I see how many things go wrong all the time.
This is in a nutshell what myself and another unpaid carer in my town are doing, on top of looking after our relatives, looking after single disabled people where there just is no family.

There are no kids to come around and look after them, no other relatives, they are totally alone, There is no son to come and help dad with a blocked drain or take dad to the hospital for an x ray.

Both of us unpaid carers are having to argue and fight on behalf of these carees, chase up hospital appointments, take the carees shopping, help with household tasks, providing advocacy and all sorts of support that the family should provide. But there is no family and just very little support available.
As I have said in a previous post both us unpaid carers have been put as next of kin when they are in hospital.
The nurses say, oh look your son/daughter has come to visit, we have to politely explain that we are not relatives, but I don't what you would call us, not exactly friends, people that care.

Who should be looking after these people, the GP?? I don't know.