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Should I return to caring as I am a vulnerable person? - Carers UK Forum

Should I return to caring as I am a vulnerable person?

Guidance on coronavirus and a place to share concerns and support
Hi, sorry if this isn't in the right place. I'm a carer for my sister, she is diabetic. I, myself am both diabetic and asthmatic. I haven't been to my sisters since lockdown began. I've had issues with my asthma at least 3 times since April. Now I'm not sure if I should be returning to care for my sister or still staying at home. There's no risk assessment done, no safety measures put in place and I don't feel comfortable returning just yet. Does anyone have any advice for me please? :) thank you
Lynne _2007 wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:07 am
There's no risk assessment done, no safety measures put in place and I don't feel comfortable returning just yet. Does anyone have any advice for me please? :) thank you
This is an easy question to answer: CoronaVirus is still out there, your sister is surviving without your intervention, carry on as you are.
I agree. Your own health is your top priority, if you don't look after your own health, no one else will!

If she needs help and support, she can ask Social Services for it.
Hello Lynne,

Beyond the comments regarding the safeguarding of your own health,

I honestly believe if your sister has remained safe and well and has not come to suffer as a result of the distancing, it may be worth reconsidering your position as a carer and having social services step up to provide assistance on a long term basis where it is required.

I would do the same myself.. because while I believe in helping those who are unable to fend for themselves I am also a huge advocate of promoting independent living where it is possible/safe to achieve. Its simply in the best interests of the cared for person most of the time.

Could well turn out to be a positive thing / silver lining of these awful times for the both of you moving forwards.
Also you can just be family/good friends instead of carer/caree when the time comes that it is all over.

It would sure give me immense peace of mind to know a loved one who previously needed help was actually able to be self-sufficient if i was not there for them.. others will surely agree a huge source of anxiety as we get older (even for us youngin's - yea i still barely qualify as that, i think lol)

You are absolutely in the right place and most welcome!

Best wishes to you/your sister and stay safe
Honey Badger wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:30 pm
Hello Lynne,

Beyond the comments regarding the safeguarding of your own health,

I honestly believe if your sister has remained safe and well and has not come to suffer as a result of the distancing, it may be worth reconsidering your position as a carer and having social services step up to provide assistance on a long term basis where it is required.
Thank you Honey Badger, I have been thinking this through during lockdown and I did come to the conclusion that she can cope perfectly well without me, I feel as though I am just an emotional crutch/taxi service, even though my sister can drive herself. So much so that I have started to look at jobs, had a telephone interview yesterday so I've really decided to get myself back into the workplace.
Thank you for your kind reply
Ayjay wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:50 am
Lynne _2007 wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:07 am
There's no risk assessment done, no safety measures put in place and I don't feel comfortable returning just yet. Does anyone have any advice for me please? :) thank you
This is an easy question to answer: CoronaVirus is still out there, your sister is surviving without your intervention, carry on as you are.
Thank you! I don't know why, I just feel like I need justification.
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:59 am
I agree. Your own health is your top priority, if you don't look after your own health, no one else will!

If she needs help and support, she can ask Social Services for it.
Very true, thank you for your advice.
Crutch, or slave?? We are all responsible for our own lives and happiness, but too often we are manipulated by others in thinking they have more right to our lives than we have. If I could live my life again I'd do things very differently.
Now is the time to put yourself first, and enjoy yourself.
bowlingbun wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 3:55 pm
Crutch, or slave?? We are all responsible for our own lives and happiness, but too often we are manipulated by others in thinking they have more right to our lives than we have. If I could live my life again I'd do things very differently.
Now is the time to put yourself first, and enjoy yourself.
Slave mostly, put upon, spoken to like dirt at times, expected to come running for the smallest things. It can be so frustrating. It's good to know I'm not alone.
The only power she has over you is the power you let her have.
The solution is simple. Don't let her have any.
If she is rude to you on the phone, say I don't have to listen to this, and put the phone down.
At her house? Stop immediately what you are doing, say the same thing, and leave.
What does she do for you??!!