care home visiting

[Penny]

My Mum has Alzheimers and is in a care home. Like everybody else we have not been allowed to visit since lockdown. It is heartbreaking because although the staff are marvellous and arrange Facetime for us, she cries her eyes out pretty much every time.

Since it was announced that two people from different households can meet in an open space (social distancing) I have just emailed the home to ask whether they could arrange for Mum and I to meet in the sunshine outside for a short while. They have a nice sheltered garden and I am sure it would perk her up. fingers crossed!

[Melly1]

Hope they say yes, Penny, either now or after the 12 week period is up.

Melly1

[Penny]

Hope they say yes, Penny, either now or after the 12 week period is up.

Melly1

Thanks Melly. Waiting for them to email back.

[Penny]

Just had a lengthy phonecall from the Manager who discussed this on a video conference with their Head Office.

They say “No”. I am really disappointed as I cannot see how if a member of staff wheeled my Mum outside into the sunshine and I sat at the appropriate distance from her that could possibly be unsafe. The Manager agrees with me but said they have to do what Head Office say. If it changes she will let me know.

I can completely understand that people should not be allowed to go inside the building but out in the fresh air, what’s the problem?

The test kits arrived at the home this morning and all staff and residents are getting tested tomorrow.

[bowlingbun]

I think that is excessive Penny. Does it not amount to a Deprivation of Liberty? Maybe ask Social Services? You may be the first to ask, but certainly won't be the last.

[Undermyduvet]

Penny,that was a lovely idea.Such a shame it couldn't happen.

I saw something on the news with this home that has some kind of glass building where people can speak to their relatives.Not quite the same as talking to them properly but at least they can see you upclose.

[Jessie04]

My aunt's care home has recently started visits in a garden room through glass with a top window open. They work quite well even though she has limited vision and hearing. I hope your Mum's care home can come up with something like that.

[Denis_1610]

It is a similar story in the care home where my Mum is. Relatives have asked about garden visits; the manager has checked with head office but they have said "No."

Understandably, head office is worried about the many risks and does not want to be seen as sanctioning something that later could result in infection being brought in. It also wants to keep within Government guidelines, unclear as some of them are. There is something about not making journeys to visit other relatives. Visiting care homes falls within this category.

Residents, often suffering from various forms of dementia, do need the stimulation of social contact, even if that involves some measure of social distancing. The open air is less risky than indoors. We live in hope that the next round of relaxation of the restrictions, hopefully in early June, will make garden visits possible.

[Pinkie3]

I haven't seen my husband for ten weeks now. At the start I was getting video calls but this has stopped because it unsettled him. He cannot understand what is going on. He constantly asks when I am going to visit but cannot retain whatever he is told.

He is deteriorating and I should be with him. There seems no plan for reopening homes, and to be honest it's hard to see how this can be done safely until there is a vaccine. I am just heartbroken thinking of him stuck in there on his own, maybe thinking no-one cares about him any more.

[Pet66]

Pinkie3
I'm so saddened reading your post. Its worse for you than your husband.
My late husband's nursing home was closed to visitors at one point, due to novovirus. I was in despair. Eventually, when I was allowed back, he had no idea I had been away for so long, thankfully. Had no idea of time or days in reality.
Your husband, possibly asks were you are, in ' normal' times, even if you have not long visited.
Not much comfort to you, I know.
Hope you are managing to rest,and take care of yourself.
My heart goes out to you