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Advice please - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Advice please

Guidance on coronavirus and a place to share concerns and support
Agreed, they are under huge pressure as far as spending is concerned, so the more family carers can be bullied or intimidated the less they have to provide. However, our elderly folk have been paying taxes and NI contributions all their working life. Help is their right! It's not charity. Social workers are supposed to be public SERVANTS., not bullies or manipulators.
Thought I'd give you an update. Things went further downhill . I was going at this point 5 times a week after work. One particular day my mother started to scream at me.
I was interfering- she had asked me to set up a direct debit which I told her I cannot do without a POA. I was weak and stupid and her favourite child was my brother ( who died 7 years ago). All this in front of my son and 15 year old granddaughter. I was so upset and walked out and have not been back. Best thing I did. I still do their online stuff but at a distance. The abuse just getting worse and worse
Have made up my mind any other problems they have it's Social Services all the way.
Just found out my sister is a Hoarder- no idea what to do about that one.
I have had some really black thoughts at times but now I have admitted I cannot do it all the stress is going.. I'd advise anyone in this situation you are not weak for saying enough is enough
It is a recognised fact that as someone gets older their world shrinks, and they lose the ability to see how much others are doing for them.
Sadly, the more you do, the more they expect.
The older they get, the more they forget how old you are, remembering you as being a much younger person.
My mum even seem to ignore the implications for me of being widowed, disabled, with a brain damaged son, trying to run a business. She would "save" jobs for me as she liked the way I did them better.
Either you do more and more and more, or set the boundaries of what you are prepared to do.
As an adult, you have your own life, and your own health problems too very often.
Bowling Bun
Thank you for that. I agree with what you're saying and I think the COVID pandemic has made matters a lot worse. In my situation I was doing a lot more for them as they couldn't go out. It's now expected and that leads to the abuse. The pandemic I feel has hastened their decline . I'm sure I'm not on my own with this and I feel better having stepped back