bi-polar

[angel]

It 's kind of reassuring to see that there others out there like me ,this sounds bad. My husband is okay at the moment but there have been bad times and my famliy have been less than understanding. People think because he seems okay that he's better but he's stable and it's has taken some time and that could change anytime . He's read up so much and understands his illness pretty well. Sometimes when he's not so good he asks for my opinion whether he's right or not about all sorts of things and thats okay but sometimes I can't answer him because I don't know or I'm not sure .
I have read some of the posted messages and think that there are some pretty amazing people out there .It is so very special to care for our loved ones and friends.That makes us carers very special.

form Elizabeth

[charles47]

Welcome aboard, Angel.

Families often don't understand situations they haven't encountered before, especially where there is mental ill health or a learning disability of some form because they are often "invisible" - the person appears outwardly "normal" for want of a better word.

So all the old prejudices pop out.

All you can do is try to explain and hope that they will take it on board. We had this problem with my in-laws. They still don't really understand how my son's autism affects him - and us. But we love him and try to understand him. And you're right, sometimes we don't have the answers. All we can do is try.

[sue31didit]

Unfortunatley, I have had a lot of experience in this, knowledge of drugs, fighting the system, consultants hostility in listening to carers, oh you name it, I think we have been through it, and yes, it takes its toll let alone looking after someone with this kind of mental ill health and plus if they have physical disibilities too.

I am willing to answer from my experience anything if the mgrs of this forum allow. I don't name names, lol and I only give advice which is practical. I find the links that have been given as excellent, but if an emergency arises and someone needs help in coping with a particular problem we need to act fast.

The worse I come up against is not being listened to, does this happen to you? or should I rephrase this, they listen, but don't digest it at times. Mental health is the worst for carers, as its harder to 'prove' that your patient is needing to be hospitalized, then they have no beds, then when they do, its either too far away or too late and you've managed thru the worse of it.

It takes its toll on you, no sleep, listening to their grandious ideas, thoughts and its all powerfully real to them, its makes night time non existant, you loose friends because of it. You loose your self worth at times talking to 'proffessionals' who know better than you your pateint who you have been looking after for so many years and they know 5 minutes? am I right?

Yes, we know, my kids are in their twenties now, and what I would love to be able to do is get involved in speaking to mental health proffessionals to 'educate' them that carers have rights to, and to be listened to, no decisions made BEFORE meeting with the carer and discuss things and options.

If you need to chat, I am here

[sue31didit]

I have been looking after my husband in the community [as they like to call it] for over 26 yrs, hes been quite bad, and then little glips and I've managed to bring up 2 lovely kids also who are in their twenties now. Not all is bad once you can get them on the right meds for here to help them stay stable and lead a good daily life.

We recentaly [and still are] having problems as my hubbies meds have had to be changed, its a bumpy time at the moment

[mairie]

Hi sue3,
I agree with all you have written.
x

[goose]

I have been caring for my partner who also has severe bipolar. I am desparate for some support when times are bad- i am fed up with ringin crisis teams to find they dont answer the phone - or care teams who seem unable to help give the support needed - staff who would not tolerate not being able to be with their loved ones or forgetting how stressful it is for us- supporting in the community; is the worse bit- we dont have a change over of shift or access to drugs or seclusion rooms if all kicks off - we have to cope- so far my best support- ringing 999...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lazydaisy]

999 did not work in my case, with my son.I tried one evening.Police were good, but couldn't do anything, paramedics were more concerned with my state than my son's! Try driving round to find someone who is likely to collapse through low blood sugar(diabetes), paranoia, aggression towards you, then find him, insist he gets into the car, drive round to find your daughter who is looking elsewhere for him but doesn't have her phone with her, getting home,your disabled husband and disabled elder son both frantic at home, and then wonder why I am climbing the walls. The oncall social services team decided he did not need help either, until the next day.
No support at all for Carers of people with mental health problems.

[sue31didit]

Yes I do the same and have done for 26 yrs, its hard, but coping and getting thru everyday is the only way I can go foreward

[pete]

Hi Lizilou.
i too care for my bipolar partner and know how difficult it can be, we are having a particular difficult time at the moment. here for you if i can help take care.
pete

[pete]

Hi to all carers of bipolar partners,
My partner and i really going thru bad time at moment, every time she has a "dip" in mood the ecapeism as we call it kicks in.she feels its best for us to have time apart,.
I try to talk her to her and disway her from this but it never works & at this tme she has moved out,she calls the crisis team and they find her somewhere to go,never seeming to take me into consideration ( does this sound familiar to anyone or is it just me??)..
She rings me telling me how much she loves & cares for but needs her space,,,

[Caring_Mind]

Hello Pete - this sounds like it must be a terrible strain on you. Unfortunately the crisis team only take into account the client's wishes at a time like that - their safety is paramount. Unfortunately, that leaves the Carer at a loss and feeling as if all control has gone.
Have you spoken to your Doctor about all this? It seems as if your partner is getting the help that she needs and feels comfy with, while you are left with the situation you are in.
Do you think that it would be a good time to look after yourself - to pamper yourself a bit? You deserve it.
Does your partner had a social worker assigned to her? Maybe you could make an appointment to talk with him/her?
I'm hoping that you're feeling a little better in yourself today xx

[sarina]

hi all,
I haven't been on here for such a long while now. It's a great relief to hear others accounts, simply because in times of darkness, you realise that perhaps you're not as alone as it may feel.
My partner also has bi-polar and it is hard by no means. He is not taking medication and trying to self manage a condition which is debilitating at the best of times and ruinous at the worst.
he has recently moved and his job is from hell, the hours are unreasonable and the pressure is palpable.
His psychiatrist has suggested putting him on valporate but he is unsure because of the list of side effects.

Is there anyone who has experiences with valproate? I think he has been very lucky so far and not had a bad episode, considering the stress and he is under. His sel management is going great guns, but I can'r help but feel nervous that he shouldn't be depending on self management so far, but using it in conjunction with prescribed medication.

Please can anyone suggest anything?

Sarina

[superwifey]

hello!

I care for my Husband who has bipolar and ADHd...get in touch, I would love to hook up with someone in the same situation too!!!
xxx

[sue31didit]

I;ve been a carer for my husband with this affliction for 27 yrs

[tracey40]

I met my partner 7 months ago, and he was honest from day one he had mental health problems. He moved to a new area with a new GP who straight away asked if he had already been disgnosed with bi-polar. The GP then arranged emergency assessments to get the correct diagnosis but as yet they just keep saying it is anger issues!!! We are now waiting to get a 2nd opinion as the GP is so sure this is what the problem is.

The GP prescribed the right meds which have helped, but due to the lack of support, John tried to take his own life just before Christmas. This resulted in a few days in intensive care, the crisis team being involved, so i thought, at last someone was taking us seriously. How wrong was I!!! After 2 home visits, 3 phone calls, he has now been discharged from their 'care'. All I was told was if he has a crisis to ring 999!!!

What are we to do when because John has had what we call, a couple of level weeks, no-one is there to help??? Apart from ringing the police or 999 where else can I seek help for him?? Most of the time 999 is not needed but then I have to deal with the crisis on my own. I am the one that has to pick up the peices from the crisis, patch him up if he self harms, tell him what actually happened as normally he has blocked it all out.

I just feel so angry that they can just brush him off without offering or suggesting other help we can seek.