Hi my husband went blind virtually overnight

[Hilarda]

My husband lost the sight in both eyes virtually overnight. He had been diabetic since he was 14 years old, was now 61 and had only a few months previously been told his eyes were perfect for a diabetic of that amount of time. He regularly went for his check ups so we were both stunned to be told that his eye loss was due to being diabetic and his consultant said he was one of the rare cases of the blood vessels growing faster than they could laser them. We were in total shock as life changed overnight, from him being the wage earner, able to drive, to being totally dependent on myself. Now 4 years on we have sort of accepted this but still feel angry that this could have happened when he did everything right, going for check ups, perfect blood sugars etc. One of the problems we do have is when out, the lack of disabled toilets, as being totally blind he cannot go into the 'mens' toilets as he cannot see, and I cannot take him into the 'ladies'. I wonder if other people have come across this problem and what do they do in this situation? Looking forward to any feedback, take care , Hilary

[charles47]

Hi Hilary, and welcome.

My father was diabetic and suffered massive sight loss, albeit because his control was...patchy at best.

But we had similar problems with disabled loos for my son, who has autism. My wife couldn't take him in some places, so if I wasn't around it was a problem to put it mildly!

[daylily]

Hi,
to be honest I take hubby into the ladies if there is no disabled available. Once the ladies see his white stick they are usually fine and no-one can see in the cubicle and hubby cannot see the ladies.

We've never had a problem with doing this.

[Hilarda]

Thanks for the information that you take your husband into the ladies loo, I have thought about doing this but wasn't sure whether I would have people telling me to get out, and that would cause embarassement for my husband. I will give this a try next time we go out and get caught out with the loo situation. I try to book coach trips as this gets my husband out of our home and he enjoys these, even though he cannot see but it is a change of surroundings and he can have a laugh with the other people on the coach, but he is always worried about where the next disabled loo is!! Thank you for your suggestion, best wishes Hilary

[rosemary]

I have taken my brother in to the ladies toilets if needed on times when just him and myself out. In the beginning we got a few women staring, plus occassional comment made but once I explained the reason why everything was fine. For us the worst part is if I need to go as I need leave him unattended for a few secs.

Abroad many have mixed facilities and it is not as out of place.

[Hilarda]

I have taken my brother in to the ladies toilets if needed on times when just him and myself out. In the beginning we got a few women staring, plus occassional comment made but once I explained the reason why everything was fine. For us the worst part is if I need to go as I need leave him unattended for a few secs.

Abroad many have mixed facilities and it is not as out of place.

Hi Rosemary thank you for your info, its good to know that other people have the same difficulty in regard to loos, your comments have given me the confidence to now take hubby into the ladies when we are out next and there are no disabled loos available.

[Melly1]

Hi Hilary, what a massive adjustment for you and your hubby.

I have the same problems when I take S out. He is vulnerable and unpredictable and cannot be sent in to the gents unsuperised. We have a radar key and use that if disabled toilets are available. It is a nightmare when the disabled facilities are not unisex and my other bugbear is when the disabled toilet doubles up as a baby feeding/changing area ... I have had to take S in the ladies before and have had to go in the gents to check on him on occasion! It's a wonder he isn't confused of his gender!

melly1

[Hilarda]

Hi Hilary, what a massive adjustment for you and your hubby.

I have the same problems when I take S out. He is vulnerable and unpredictable and cannot be sent in to the gents unsuperised. We have a radar key and use that if disabled toilets are available. It is a nightmare when the disabled facilities are not unisex and my other bugbear is when the disabled toilet doubles up as a baby feeding/changing area ... I have had to take S in the ladies before and have had to go in the gents to check on him on occasion! It's a wonder he isn't confused of his gender!

melly1

Hi Melly

Yes I quite agree with you its annoying when disabled toilets double up as a baby feeding/changing area and you have to wait while mums deal with babies. Oh bless as you say it is a wonder S isn't confused as to whether he is male or female

[Juggler]

I seem to spend my life hovering outside gents loos panicking that Dad has fallen over. In a pub the other day a guy told me there was no-one else there and just to go in...not something I'm too keen on doing.
Mind you, writing this has reminded me of the millennium event on the Thames in London (before I was a carer!). Needless to say there were huge queues for the ladies and we decided en masse to use the cubicles in the gents as well. I think the guys who we're already using the 'other' facilities were rather taken aback!