My son has SLD, I did everything in my power to keep him at home, but in the end had to admit defeat and he went into residential care. I found the best possible place, two hours drive away, across the New Forest and Salisbury Plain, but I never ever enjoyed the drive taking him there. I felt "Rat of the Year". My friends couldn't believe I'd "put him in a home". In the long run it was best for him, and best for me. He comes home very regularly, and we have real quality time together. The people who criticised me 15 years ago, are now amazed what he can do for himself, away from me. Everyone is different. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you didn't ask for him to have a stroke, you are just doing the best you can. When people ask when he's coming home, would it help to say something along the lines that he's unlikely to ever come home again, because he needs specialist care? Then they might gradually stop asking. Taking one day a week off from visiting, so you can concentrate entirely on your daughter's needs, would seem reasonable to me. Very soon she won't want to be with you any more, so don't miss out on these years, they are so precious.