blimey!! thank you all so very much for your posts and very warm welcome!!
each comment has hit a spot which has most definitely given me food for thought. I am very much aware now that any decision is my own..as the prime decision taker/maker over the last 18 years, I dither at decision when my own needs are concerned, something i know you will understand.
Yes , I will take my time. No, there will no gain, financially , part time, I have done the maths, and full time is not an option.
If the 'worst' were to happen, (and it has , !! , believe me ) my husband, would, and has, simply wait for me to come home! crazy but true!!
the holding back , i feel now is, I can take on any health professional, service, or authority when it comes to my husband or my kids, and not bat an eye...but the thought (and past experiences) of approaching an employer for time off , no matter how supportive, feel me with angst and anxiety.
its all the emotional, physical energy it takes out of you when there is a crisis , and on top of it, you don't want to let others down, hello guilt , my old friend
. I just remember feeling like a hamster on wheel that could not get off!
your comments have reminded me , i am not alone , there are soooooo many people out there caring for a sick loved one, that until , others walk a minute, in our shoes, it is difficult to understand. I will not be too quick to allow their comments to effect me in future.
Im glad i have found this site, it time to stop and breathe, and listen to myself. Thank you