Hi Sarah, you are definitely not alone. I've had to fight for S's education all along the way - solicitors, IPSEA (who were brilliant,) tribunal etc etc
ASD provision and understanding of ASD is patchy and poor. I teach in a special school and we have children with autism come who have failed elsewhere and then the poor parents really struggle at secondary transfer for suitable provision.
As Tracey says, our kids aren't the difficulty it is the other "professionals" involved. It's exhausting, but if we don't fight for our kids, no one else will.
(ex-foster) Mum and single carer to S, who is 21. Has ASD, epilepsy, IBS and displays challenging behaviour when anxious or hormonal.