New member - caring for anorexia

[ANNE JOHN]

HI, everone
I am new to your support forums, so please be patient with me as I am not a fast typist. I would like any help and support from anyone who is going through the same situation as me. I am a carer for my daughter who is anorexic and I would love to here from anyone who can just be there for me and my daughter. It is still new to me as she was diagnosed last October. I would love to chat and to be part of your forum.
Thanks eveyone.
Love Anne.

[no1mum]

Hi Anne and a warm welcome to the forum. I've split your post from "lurkers" so more members will see it. You'll find plenty of support and advice on here.

Karen

[Myrtle]

Hi Anne and welcome

[worriedjohn]

hello and welcome

[Matt Carers UK]

Hello there. I'm not sure if we've had a carer looking after someone with Anorexia on the forum before. Can anyone else remember?

That must a whole set of problems with it. Please tell us more about it. It must be so difficult to know what to do to support your daughter?

What we find on here is that although the situations we are in with our caring, might differ there are always similarities. Welcome aboad!

[ANNE JOHN]

Thanks everyone for your concern, my daughter is 20 years old and was diagnosed last October. She was a grade A student and went to university to study film tv and set design, but due to the pressure she could,nt handle it. Anorexia is the pits and has effected us all. It must be the same for you all. Mealtimes are horendous because of the little she eats. I am so angry with myself that I cannot help her anymore than I am doing. She is so thin and everything time she eats she has to excercise to get rid of the food. She asks me to excercise with her, I tell you I have never felt so fit. At least I am eating. The depression and crying I can,t stand and I try to tell her I love her and that I will be with her to support and do my best to get as much help I can find. I took her to a support group last night, but as there was none in the Rhondda we had to go all the way to Cardiff. It is disgussting that there is nothing here for us. I do admire all of you for the caring you do for your families I did not realise how hard it is. Well I am not going to winge anymore, it,s great to know there are people out there I can chat too.

love to you all
Anne John

[Melly1]

Hi Anne and welcome,

I hope the support group is able to help your daughter.

We all care for people for a range of reasons on here and even if our situations are different there are many common issues. Feeling powerless to help is an overwhelming feeling no wonder it reduces you to tears.

((((Hugs))))

Melly1

[Matt Carers UK]

Hi again Anne -

Now I don't want you to think I'm sending you elsewhere, in fact I really hope you stick around here but I wouldn't be doing my job properly if I didn't tell you about a new forum specifically for carers of people with eating disorders.

Beat, the eating disorders charity, has launched a new Carers' Forum featuring tips on how to talk to someone suffering, issues around mealtimes, and dealing with professionals, Message Boards, an online ‘chat’ facility and a Carers’ Blog:

http://www.b-eat-carers.co.uk

Matt

[ANNE JOHN]

HI MATT,
Thanks for the information about the website. I have been on it and even phoned the help line. I wasn,t impressed with the helpline at all. In fact they were a wasted phone call. I will try the forum again and hopefully get a better response.

Regards,
Anne John

[Gilli]

My niece had anorexia in her early teens. She is now 23, looking well-rounded and doing very well. She is very sporty and I think that is where a lot of her problems kicked off from, but she has been able to continue with her sporting interests.

The sister of a college friend also had the condition, but she also came through it and is now happily married with kids.

I do hope you can find a group of people you can get together with and share experiences and advice.

Gilli

[ANNE JOHN]

Hi Gilli,
Thanks for sending your message. My daughter has been fortunate to get help from a very kind lady who has gone through the same thing as my daughter. She will be there for her when she needes to off load. I wish I could pull her out of this dark tunnel and reassure her she is loved by her family and freinds. This horrible mental illness is cruel to both the recipient and to her family and freinds. But we will stand by her and we will get her through it. My daughter has worked so hard at school and has had fantastic grades, her dream of becoming a tv and set designer at Uni has been put on hold until she is well again. What a waste of a dream. So near yet so far away. Thanks for listening to me having a rant.

Love to all!
Anne John

[lpanson]

Hi Ann,

I spent 20 years caring for my partner. She had anorexia.

She was also diagnosed at 20 (which is quite old for anorexia) I think I saw just about everything during that time. If I can help or offer advice I'll do my best.

[Gilli]

I hope her career is just put on hold and not cancelled, Anne. She sounds like a great girl. It's wonderful that she has the support of the lady you mention.

Gilli

[ANNE JOHN]

Hi Gilli and everyone on the forum
Just to let you know that my daughter has put her career on hold at the moment due to her anorexia.
Her condition is getting worse and it looks as if at last they will be admitting her in to hospital next week. I know she does not want to go in, but I know its for the best where they can start to re feed her if necessary. Lets hope this is a turning point!
My regards to everyone on the forum.

Did anybody see the photo of the girl they were going to use in Topshop? No wonder there was an outcry with the eating dissorder groups. They should have been ashamed of themselves. No wonder
there are so many people suffering from eating dissorders when they are exposed to stick thin images like that. What do you think?
ANNE

[ANNE JOHN]

Hi Audrey and all!
Just to keep you updated, my daughter was admitted into hospital last Tuesday. She was not on an eating disorder ward as I thought it was going to be, but on a ward with really sick elderly patients. There was no one there around her age, anyway they did move her to a room of her own. The strain on her to eat has brought on many anxiety attacks and bad bouts of depression. It has been so upsetting for me to watch her breaking her heart, I just want to bring her home, but I know she is in the best place because her weight is so low now. Her blood pressure and oxygen levels are on the low side as well, which they are closley monitoring. It is so distressing for me and my husband to deal with that we are arguing with each other merely out of frustration. I am sorry to be moaning as every one of you have your own problems to deal with, but it helps to get things off your chest. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day?
Bye for now
Anne