so much going on for her, and you.
mum had alcohol abuse, she hid it everywhere, drunk at 7 am and didnt think she had a problem..walking to the shop in pjs for it, .. god help i could have swung for her sometimes, so drunk she didnt know what day it was..didnt care really, depression the cause, bored, nothing to live for noones loves me,..ect.. can hear her now..asked her, if she loved me and her family she would get help, help herself, numerous times offered to take her out, go to the shop, but the depression had taken hold so much, she was so low nothing mattered.
got the doc in, she had started to get dts shaking and talking about killing herself ,tryed a few times too... we tryed everything, every trick in the book, every pill, every book, every gp,every day was a struggle.
now.. things changed when i gave tough love. i forced her up, one day, nearly throwing her out of bed... told her shed end up in a clinic with noone on a ward with nurses and tablets no family would be allowed to come visit, got the doc to review the tablets, got a councillor to come to the house for a visit, every day i told her i loved her, on her tearfull days i just hug her for ages, then back to tough love... pills started to kick in, so she perked up a bit, but u have to get her out the house, even just for a walk, her mind has to be somewhere else rather than focusing on the abuse of drink.. buy her flowers, make a fuss of her.. small things i did every day made her feel special, i wrote her poems, just for her...left notes on her pillow, i felt angry dont getme wrong, sometimes swearing at her... but if u love her ... just do it. dont think about it... trust comes and goes.. but live for the day..what can i do to help her today. i came a vast second/third/forth sometimes.. but now... im first on her list. and shes first on mines. mind its an illness... she needs help, she cant do it by herself..because its took hold.. her mind is not what it was..its dragging her down, and negitive thoughts is all shes got... your the one that needs to be positive for her.. and show her positive steps every day however small.
hope this helps... this is only my oppinion, my story, how i coped and what worked for me. you gotta want to help her help herself, good days and bad ones. dont walk away,she needs you more than ull ever now rite now. however small the positive u need to praise that .
good luck benjamin.