No where to turn, Advice needed after loss :(

[Julie01]

Im new to signing up but have been reading the forums for years,

Sadly i come here due to really not know which way to turn and feel like i have been thrown in to turmoil,

I lost my grandmother in November who i have cared for over 25 years as her 24/hour carer,
I have lived with her since i was 6 weeks old,
she sadly passed in hospital but thankfully i was there so she passed in my arms,

Im now facing all sorts of issues and have no idea where the heck i start,
My main issue is that we lived in a Council flat and her name was on the rent book, I have now been told i may have to move from my home of 15+ years and possibly move in to a 1 bed, this flat is 2,

We had pets and i would also face loosing them too if i have to move, Ive had no support and feel i cant cope right now with all this on top of loosing her,

I went to CAB who really where no real help at all, Though my docs have stepped in with a letter to help,

See i also suffer blackouts and due to this we had moved next door to family in order for me to be kept an eye on in case i had a fit while in the bath ect, Ive a history of epilepsy which tends to be stress induced so my doctor has written a letter explaining that,

My carers continues for 8 weeks but i have no idea what i do next?????

Its unbelievable that after caring for so long and giving my whole life up to care fr m grandmother that i dont seem to have any support I feel like im have just been tossed to the side,

I dont know but maybe some of you would have some advice that could help, I just dont know where to turn and with xmas upon me im just even more upset

Sorry if im rambling i just dont even know where to start

[Matt Carers UK]

Hi Julie

Welcome to the forum- although as a long time reader I'm sure it won;t feel new. Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I'm afraid this is very common for carers, especially the housing problem you describe. soemthing people don;t think about until after the event.

I do suggest you phone our helpline but it will close for Xmas after tomorrow so please call today or tomorrow. 0808 808 7777

We also have a section of the website with some advice for former carers

http://www.carersuk.org/Information/Whe ... ftercaring

and also some on here about housing
http://www.carersuk.org/Information/Whe ... persondies

but I know it can only scratch the surface of the many difficult things you're facing at the moment. I hope at least the forum can be some help to you.

Best wishes

Matt

[paulingreece]

Hi Julie, you have the same lovely name as my wife, as i understand it, because your Gran was a long term tenant you should come under the old rules, not the new ones. So the tenancy should be able to be passed on,
1) Get in touch with your mp, do not be fobbed of, go to his surgery and give no peace till he or she helps,
2) speak to a housing lawyer, CAB should have a list, where the initial consultation is free.
3) Get in touch with Social Services about the epilepsy/blackouts, see what help is available,
4), should of been 1 really, make a list of everything that needs doing, who you have contacted etc, keep it updated and follow up any help offered, this should help you organise things better,
Sorry i could not be of more help, good luck. My thoughts are with you, should be some more knowledgable people along soon.

[pixienubbins]

I cant give u any advice but with u all the luck and sending somany hugs

CAB i find are always pretty unhelpful, can u get legal aid? might be worth a shot

[susieq]

Hi Julie

So sorry to hear of your predicament - have you tried your local Carers Centre ? You should be able to find their details on your Local Authority website. They should be able to offer you advice on what to do next and what benefits maybe available to you, and as a former Carer will be able to offer you support to help you through this transitional period.

Matt and Paul have given you good advice and I hope you can get in touch with the CUK Helpline soon. Do keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

[Julie01]

thank you everyone, I will seek out all avenues that you have given me and keep you updated,

Im feeling a little less stressed today, Yesterday it just all seemed to get on top of me and i felt unable to cope with all the thoughts,


but im thinking positive and trying to leave no stone unturned,

I was sold by the SS that i would have no issue with the home, and that i did not need my name on the book (I had asked them lots of times) So please if you are in a similar situation get your name on that rest book ASAP,

[susieq]

Julie - glad to hear you are feeling more positive today - what a beautiful dog !

what breed and his/her name please

I don't know what we Carers would do without our pets

[poppett]

Here in Scotland a tenancy can pass to another generation not named on the rent book if that person has lived in the house as a carer. Also resident carers have rights to live on in the house providing it is suitable for their needs, so if you needed someone to stay over with you when you are unwell you would need a bedroom for them too. The rules were set up to prevent single people living in a former family home which had four or five bedrooms. Hope you find a helpful welfare officer at your local authority who can help you through the minefield.

Small steps finishes the marathon too..................take it easy and don`t rush into things you are not comfortable with.

Take care
Meg

[pixienubbins]

that is a smashing looking dog!
glad u feeling a bit better

[Julie01]

Thanks,

That's my dog Storm, he is a Siberian husky mixed with German Shepard, he is just over 1 years old now and i got him as some company for me when i was a carer, Just having to walk him gave me a fresh air break sometimes, He is my best buddie,

and i wont allow them to make me give up my dog if i have to move, ill fight that all the way,

xmas was pretty tough, and im kinda finding it hard to get motivated, i have so much to still do forms to hand in ect i really have to start pushing myself,

My money stops today and i have to sort out what happens after that, So im going to get on with a few bits today,

Also take care everyone with this flu thats out! it really hits hard, It floored me over xmas and i was thinking of how i would have been able to care in that condition, normal im pretty bomb proof with flus and battle on regardless but this one had me in bed!

[asala01]

UPDATE!!!!!!!

Finally after nealry 8 months i have been told i can now stay in my home

Gosh i thought the day would never come, Such a big big weight of my mind xxxxxx

Thank you all for the support and advice you have given me, xxxxx

[Myrtle]

That's brilliant news

[no1mum]

Great news.

[poppett]

Thank you for sharing your brilliant news with us.

Take care
Meg