Hi, from a new member.

[Sarah Dixon]

Hi Everyone, My name is Sarah. I have been married to Mark for 12 years and we have a daughter, Ellen, Aged 6 1/2.

I have been helping Mark to look after himself now for about 6 years. He suffers from constant chronic pain in his head and neck. a combination of this and the side effects of his medication mean that he struggles to manage most routine tasks and our daughter playing causes him even greater pain.

Recently we have been told that his pain will be here forever and there is nothing medical that can be done for him. This news, and an argument with me, sent him off the deep end last week when he walked out leaving a goodbye/suicide note for Ellen. Thankfully, he walked for miles and eventually rang his dad, with whom he has been staying this week.

He is in the process of receiving treatment now and the crisis management team recommended I come here for support and help for me.

Until now I don't think I realised I was caring for him as well as Ellen as things have just got progressively worse.

Anyway, that's about it from me for now.

Sarah

[Nilla]

Hi Sarah and welcome to the forum, can I just say if Sarah Dixon is your real name would you consider using a nickname on here, its a nice close nit forum but we encourage members to use an alias wherever possible

I care for my husband as well, he is in constant pain in his back and leg due to scoliosis which wasnt diagnosed until the damage was done, hes on morphine patches but they just dont work anymore so pain it is, I totally understand how hard it is to cope with day to day things when in so much pain, my husbands pain has totally taken over our lives as well, I'm glad your husband is getting some help with his emotions about it all. My daughter is called Sarah and I care for her as she has Downs Syndrome, ASD and a host of other medical problems.

No-one will judge you on here we all come on and say it as it is, there is always someone who understands x

[Tracey]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the forum.

I use my real name but lots dont .

Im Glad your husband is getting some help.

You will find lots of support here.

Tracey x

[malc]

good morning sarah,i hope you find as much relief from your caring role as i have,there not a bad crowd on here,they've helped me loads over the last couple of years,god bless them.

[Booksey]

Hi Sarah and welcome from me

I care for my hubby who has a host of conditions that cause him constant pain. Is your husband under the pain clinic for his pain control? If not ask for a referal if he is then ask for a further assessment sometimes it takes a while it find the right combination of drugs

[Myrtle]

Hi Sarah and welcome
It takes a while to realise you're caring for someone.

[michael parker]

Hi and welcome to the Forum.Hope you find it useful and supportive.

[Sarah Dixon]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome.

Booksey, He has seen 2 different pain management teams, the 2nd one has just said to us that there is nothing more medically available. He has tried loads of different combinations of pills and the last ditch one that he had recently was fantastic for pain but left him unable to carry on a conversation, to have time with his daughter to be part of the family. It caused him severe memory problems.

We are now under the psychology department of Pain Management and we are seeing them this week, hopefully they will help us to cope somewhat better.

Sarah

[Booksey]

Hi

Some times a different perspective does work. My hubby now has most of his pain management dealt with by the palliative care team. The local pain team had given up but palliative care keep going and adjust as necessary. and yes its not good if you are pain free but unable to function properly.

take care

[Sarah Dixon]

Didnt think palliative care could be an option...

Thanks for the tip

[Jane:-)]

Hi Sarah and welcome to the forum,

My OH (other half) is also in constant chronic pain and has been for many years. Different medications (and we've tried a few!) create different side affects and its working out the balance that allievates most of the pain but still enables OH to live a life. OH's condition is degenerative so pain medication is reviewed quite regularly. We saw a fantastic pain consultant who managed to get the constant pain at an copeable (not sure that's a word but hope you know what I mean) level which are morphine patches and OH has medication for breakthrough pain ie if he's having a particularly bad day/week etc. We know when the underlying pain medication is not working as well by the increased use of breakthrough medication and that's when we go back to the GP to up the dosage. At some point the GP will have to refer us back to the pain consultant when the morphine patches are at the highest dosage - but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I also have 3 children and understand the challenges of playing, noise levels etc versus caree struggling to cope with the day, its a balancing act and not always possible to please everyone! I'm no expert but if you want to rant privately you're welcome to PM (private message - square PM button under my name) any time - my kids are much older now than your Ellen.

You're both going through a particularly rough time at the moment but I hope the help and the support you're receiving will soon bring a chink of light and hope for the future together.