Hi, newbie

[Cher Canning]

Hi, my name is Cher and I'm 42 and live in the north east of Scotland with my partner. My partner and I care for my partner's sister who has cerebral palsy and is 34. We have been caring full time for her for the last year.

I also suffer from Depression and M.E. and had to give up work about 3 years ago due to having a breakdown. My partner had to take a break from her job to look after her sister as I'm not able to care for her for long periods.

I'm finding it really tough to cope with. I have no one to talk, no friends or family close by. My partner doesn't appreciate that its different for her because its her sister we care for so its different for her. I'm not sure i'm explaining this very well.

When my sister in law gets frustrated she takes it out on me verbally not my partner. My partner tells me to just ignore it and not to take any notice but its hard when it happens daily, in fact can be several times a day.

Sorry don't mean to go on just need a place to get some understanding and support. Someone who understands what its like to be in this situation.

Thanks for listening.

Cher

[crocus]

Sounds like life is very tough for you (((((hugs)))))

[no1mum]

Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum. Don't ever think you're "going on", getting things off your chest is a good thing and we are a friendly, supportive, non judgemental bunch.

[Cher Canning]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply.

cher

[Jane:-)]

Hi Cher

You're doing a good job caring for your sister-in-law (SIL) and supporting your partner. SIL is probably frustrated with her condition not with you but because you are all close is why she takes it out on you. Your partner has probably developed a 'shell' over time to protect from the comments and crititisms - always remember you're doing the best that you can and nobody can ask anymore from you.

Just wondered whether either of you have contact with your local carer support group - may help with the feeling of isolation and with your own medical needs I hope you've had a carer's assessment. No need to answer on here but just something for you to think about, you'll be no good to anyone if you don't look after your own health and get enough rest and 'me' time.

[bowlingbun]

Hi Cher,
I think everyone here knows how tough life as a carer can be, especially when you are tired and in need of a bit of "normal" life. That's why we like to support each other. You don't say much about whether your caree has any sort of life of her own? Is she housebound and fed up too? It might help if you contacted your local social services for needs and carers assessments, things change and what might have been OK last year, isn't neccessarily so this year. Recognising when you have had enough and need a break is so important.