Carer, wife and mum

[crispyc]

Hello, this is my very first post. I am caring for my husband who has been suffering from severe depression for over 4 years. He has attempted suicide 2 times now and has been down the selfharm route too although he has gone past that now. I am 30 and my husband is 32. We have 2 little girls 4 and 6 and although i love him deeply im not sure how much longer i can cope. He sits in his chair day in day out battling with his suicidal thoughts. He no longer takes care of himself or welcomes people into our home. We are under the mental health team constantly. We've tried hospitals, respite care, different medications, E C T and even considered seperating. I am always supportive and stand by him but he just doesnt want to be here any longer. He believes he needs to pass over and will take care of us from there. how i really dont know. It is really tough being a carer for a loved one. x

[Myrtle]

Hi crispyc and welcome
I've moved you into new members where more people will see you.

[crispyc]

Hello, and thankyou

[no1mum]

Hiya crispy and a warm welcome to the forum.

[Tracey]

Hello , Welcome to the forums.

A hard situation to live with, Sorry to here things are so tough.

You will find lots of support here .

Tracey x

[Minnie]

Hi,
Welcome to the forum, great crowd here , hope this site helps you.
Take care
Minnie

[Emma Forrester]

Hi Crispy. Welcome. Agree it is hard to be a carer for a someone you love,on top of this bringing up two young daughters as well can't be easy. Hope to hear from you again when you have a minute. Take care.

[crispyc]

Thanks for the warm welcome

Its nice to have someone to talk to. I have lost so many friends through these tough times, slowly but surely they fade away. Guess it shows who really cares and for them i am so grateful. I hope to help others on here too, aswell as get support. xx

[Ben Edwards]

Welcome crispyc
I am sorry to hear about your problems , my partner also suffers from depression and has tried to harm herself in the past. We are all hear to help you as much as we can and never feel like your alone.

[Robert]

Hello Crispyc

The friends and support you can have here will not fade away. In fact the more you need support and understanding, the more you will get. Thats what happens here.

Its really good to have you here. Its sometimes hard to make that first posting. And hard to know what to say. But I'm so pleased you did. So many of us suffer alone. Feeling totally at a loss about what more we can do to help those we love. Many of us are struggling, one way or another. People here understand. Your situation strikes me as being especially hard to bear. As you can see already, plenty of good kind people here to offer support and encouragement. That can make quite a difference.

Sorry things are so tough for you right now.

With all good wishes,

Robert

[sturdygirl]

Hi Crispy
Welcome to the forum
Such a difficult time for you, I hope you find new friends here
xx

[Jane:-)]

Welcome Crispyc, glad you've found us.
First posting is so difficult, some of us do a brief outline others more detailed because need immediate support and that's really how it carrys on "Roll Call" is a good place to get to know some of us as it's like a daily diary of what things we're up to - personally I rarely contribute (I often don't get online til the evening) but read it most days.
Not sure where you originally posted but just wanted to mention that there is a mental health thread further down the board index.
Look forward to seeing your posts, you're not alone and there's always someone on the forum.

[michael parker]

Hi and welcome to the Forum.Hope you find it useful and fun.

[Varya]

Sorry to offload this evening, but its been a difficult week. My husband who has MH probs had a copy of a letter for his GP from the psychs at the Group Therapy venue where he was attending weekly. In the letter there is comment detrimental to me and I feel very upset as I have been doing my best for over ten years to care for a silent, hostile 'passenger' , and also work full time. We are both registered with the same GP and I now am making arrangements to move to a different GP surgery as I cannot face going to see someone in possession of such a letter. Some professionals treat carers like rubbish IMO. I called the CMHRS as it is now called and spoke at last to someone who runs the carers group she was really helpful and it was decided that I get a message to my husband's GP to ask him to call Rob in for review. At the same time I have to open a dialogue with my husband (difficult) to say that when the group therapy ends (Gvt cuts) and he has a final review he must ask to be re-referred and tell them how fragile he is (suicidal) and that he is not in safe place mentally at present. I feel so angry that the cuts mean that people like us have to take resonsibility alone for these vulnerable and hostile people, there is almost no support now for carers and the stress of this is really getting me down. I hope for all carers ouT there that the weekend is not too bad and that you will accept hugs from me -

Varya xxx

[John Cooke]

Hi crispyc,

Sorry to hear about your hubby's MH issues, my wife has MH issues, diagnoised 10+ years ago, went through a really bad time last year. Ending up being hospitalised for a week (Self Harm). But, is loads better now, not bouncing along the bottom.

Has your hubby found a support group for peeps with MH issues. My wife has found a local one to us and goes 3 evenings a week, has found new friends both female and male. She still has bad days, but with the support from her new found friends she finds she can cope better.

But you need to have space for yourself as well. Just to give you time to recharge your batteries and prespective. Small things, become mountains. Found myself crying for no particular reason.

John