Couple of comments if I may.
Bowlingbun, I have to disagree with what you have said, I do believe there are people who want to know how we feel. I have interaction with both Social Services and different sections of the NHS and while some are truly appalling, there are also others who are not.
As I mentioned on another thread, my daughter's social worker who was involved with her case for nearly two years was brilliant and I couldn't have wished for better understanding, support and fighting for our corner as we got from him. His predecessor (pffft
) was an idiot who couldn't be bothered to contact us..ever. I don't believe in tarring all with the same brush.
Sturdygirl, I totally get your frustration at coming up against the brick wall..I was in a similar position when my caree was at home. But I'm not in the same position now and as such can sit on the fence so to speak.
By the nature of the job, appointments have to be made, it can't just happen without prearrangement (pain in the as*e though that is.). She will have other clients to see so needs to book the dates, just as any other professional would.
She has suggested a coffee but you quite rightly have said it is difficult to get out. Then she can't come to your house either because of OH, same with a phone call. A very difficult situation but that isn't really the support workers fault, I don't think she really has many other options that she can offer. I must say that I don't feel the idea of going to a cafe (if poss) is unprofessional at all, if anything, I think it shows understanding. Quiet, private places are often office spaces, airless, cold, clinical with a table and a box of tissues on the table ready for the inevitable weeping. For someone who is struggling to speak about themselves (very very common for us carers) that type of atmosphere can be overwhelmingly oppressive. A tea of a coffee somewhere non clinical can make us feel normal, not that we are being analyzed or judged. Personal preference perhaps but i know which I prefer.
Strudygirl I'm not having a go I promise, I have been in the same situation..life is ruled by carees needs/wants. But what else can the support workers do to enable you to access their service. There isn't really a way around it is there, if the stress is coming from the caree, it has to be spoken about away from them.
This is what I mean when I harp on about "emotional support". It may be helpful for outside agencies to offer support but we also have to figure out a way that we can access it. This is why I wondered about a room here that people could come to, maybe just for 15 mins to get away from the caring or to just talk?
I know that not everybody feels they need this type of service but it would be sad to miss those who feel it could benefit them if only they could access it. And because it is "silent", any conversation about problems we encounter could be disussed without being worried that we may be overheard by our carees.
Please don't think I am getting too big for my boots and trying to muscle in on what happenes here, I haven't been around long and anyway, that's not my style. I do think Carers UK need to look at these types of difficulties in a slightly different way but they can't do that unless the feedback is there. Where the services currently provided for emotional support are going wrong, define what we as individuals need and think about how we can get it.
What is noteable is that practical and emotional support seem entwined and this would make the idea of a phoneline for emotional support fairly unworkable. Take away the practicalities..that we are exhausted, we are sick or ill and our caring is making us even sicker, that we cannot sleep or eat properly, or cannot even go for a cup of tea or coffee because we are tied to the house..and figure out what we are left with emotionally. Resentment, guilt, frustration, some happy times too..?
Is it worth CUK trying to set up something for those who require it, basically to talk about how they are feeling themselves or is it a non starter. If yes, suggestions?