Pulling my hair out please advise

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hi
I'm sorry if this seems like a rant but I am literally pulling my hair out. In short, a hospital made a huge mistake and now my hubby has brain damage and nerve damage, they missed this completely and he nearly died. However they sent him home with OT making few adaptations , he was on crutches to walk (short distance) and told he would be fine in a couple of weeks. To date he is practically immobile, incontinent has anterograde amnesia and horrendous bouts of anger. He suffers extreme anxiety and can not stand crowds bright lights or loud noises. He takes a daily sedative to sleep and an extra one for hospital appointments/ crowded places. I had to fight for a referral to neuro and physio (8 months on was first app, but they failed to tell us it was cancelled and sent letter to old address.) anyhoo neuro want him on some kind of pain killing nerve tablet , wants mri as she thinks spinal cord is damaged too. 3 weeks on and he is still in agony, as no prescription has been forwarded to go, I've rang, the gp rang, the go wrote a letter and so today I rang pals. Still no joy so I will ring again on Monday. Major depression has kicked in he doesn't want to wake up in the morning, he cries he won't get up out of bed it's awful. Go said he needs an anti depressant but has to be seen by psychiatrist , so after three phone calls this week they have finally got back to me to say he needs to speak to a duty mental health professional so they can assess if he needs a prescription. A- he won't talk to them and B he won't remember what was said. I've tried social services/ council 3 times asking for support some help three times twice I was referred to OT and once the psychologist. In fairness the OT has been brill, adapted house more to his physical needs. But both myself and GP are at a loss. Hubby has something very rare and is not understood even by professionals it just seems to be one fight after another and I am worn out. Burned out. Surely it is their fault he is like this they should be bending over backwards to give him some quality, clArity even. Being in pain for so long is ridiculous when all neuro had to do was fax the name of a tablet. I am ata total loss and don't know how to move forward, any ideas are GRATEFULLY appreciated. Thank you
Michelle x
I am sorry to hear the stress and pain you and your family are going through, I'm not sure what else you can do that hasn't been done already, unfortunately everything boils down to money and resources and passing the buck or blame or excuses with these things and people unfortunately are seen as case numbers and not people, my thoughts are with you and if I can think of anything at all to help I will get back in touch, I myself have suffered medical misconduct (nothing as difficult as what your going through) but common sense never seems to provail and what we hope or think they should/would/could or ought to do doesn't seem to happen because to everyone it's a job they leave and clock off and go back to 'normal family land' BUT this is your WHOLE LIFE...maybe I'm wrong and being unfair, but I hope you get the help and support you need fast and I'm sorry for your difficult time.
Hi Michelle
In your earlier posts you mentioned a medical negligence claim. Have you tried asking the solicitor if theres anything they can do to get more care in place now? Also can you go back to your mp again to put pressure on SS to do the Needs and Carers assessments they should be doing. Again maybe a solicitors letter to them reminding them of their duties may have results.
It seems so wrong that you aren't getting help and support.
With hubby, it is creating a huge rod for your own back if he will only be helped by you. You cannot look after him alone for the rest of your/his life. You need to start working out what are his Needs as opposed to his Wants and focus on getting those Needs covered by others as much as possible.
I understand its a difficult situation but something is going to break, and if its you, 3 vulnerable people will be severely affected.
Keep pushing and shouting until you get what you need.
Xx MrsA
Find a medical negligence lawyer asap. If you have "legal expenses insurance" as part of any policy, car, or home insurance perhaps, this should cover all the costs. Don't delay, I've been down this route, and there are some strict deadlines you need to meet.
Michelle,
Phone your local hospice, they will help you, xx
When did his GP last see him? Cannot he be admitted to hospital?