List of medical phrases and euphemisms... Please add your own

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Things that consultants and surgeons tell you:

It's serious but it's curable

Many people only hear what they want to hear, I find.
You're looking good today-not dead yet!
"Good Morning, are you well ?"

when you've just crawled into the surgery on all fours :shock:
Doctor,What can I do for you today? Me,I've cut my finger and it seems infected. Doctor,Well you should try to lose some weight!!
U should lose weight ..even tho at 10 amd half stone didnt want too lol and viral infection diagnosis for everything lol
You're under weight , constantly tired , and in need of good food and rest.

What do you do , and when did you last eat a good meal ?

I'm a lone carer , and I last ate at the local foodbank yesterday.
Any phrase with the word 'age' in it
As in 'what do you expect at your age'
'Its far more common at your age'
Pet66 wrote:Doctor,What can I do for you today? Me,I've cut my finger and it seems infected. Doctor,Well you should try to lose some weight!!
LOL :lol:
Going into a GP surgery with worrying symptoms that you think could be cancer symptoms, and being told not to be so anxious. Doctors who try and 'calm you down' instead of just checking out the damn symptoms! Yes, I KNOW that 90% of the time symptoms that COULD be cancer are not, but 10% of the time they ARE, and ONLY a proper check up (ie, SCAN) will tell the difference.

Once I know I DON'T HAVE cancer (because the scan is negative )THEN I will be 'less anxious' because I won't have anything to be anxious about, will I!!!!

(The only time when the 'calm down dear' advice is good is when you're having a panic attack ,and your anxiety is CAUSING the panic attack symptoms!)
Here's a classic from the past..."Does it look like there's anything wrong with this baby" says one Doc to another whilst sniggering at mothers suggestion....6 months later "Your child is mentally handicapped, here's a leaflet"... Helpful advice from Doc..."Just keep plodding on".