Think my family are trying to drive me insane

[Alison_17061]

I know that sounds a bit mad but I honestly do and I don't know where to go as although the police can see what is going on there is no proof so the rest of my family one pair who left my dad with not enough money to bury him in the bank less than £3.000 it's now up to quite quite a lot more because we don't need much he doesn't want a big funeral but if he did he could have a£10.000 one and still have more than what was in the bank when I took over after my dad threw them out long story, anyway that was my brother the people I am having trouble with is my sister and her partner.how long am I allowed to go on? Quite a lot more to go before it makes sense, please get back to me and let me know if I am in the right place.i need advice so badly

[Melly1]

Hi Alison,
You can post more of your story, so that we have more information. The members on the forum are carers for family and friends and maybe able to offer advice based on their own experiences of dealing with other relatives.

You could also contact the helpline:

Carers UK Advice line.

You can talk to us five days a week, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.

We provide information and advice on:

benefits and tax credits
carers employment rights
carers’ assessments
the services available for carers
how to complain effectively and challenge decisions.
Our listening service is there for you to talk through your caring situation with a trained volunteer who understands what you are going through.*

Open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm.
Note: listening service available Mondays and Tuesdays, from 9am to 7pm.

Adviceline or phone 0808 808 7777*

Email advice@carersuk.org

If you can't get though, email them and ask for a call back.

Melly1

[bowlingbun]

Alison, we are always happy to help each other when we can, but you need to help us by explaining what the problem is a clearly as possible.
Am I right in thinking
Dad has died recently
There isn't as much money in the bank as you thought there was
You think your brother and his wife took the money out of the bank before he died?

First thing to do is take a copy of the death certificate to the bank and get the account frozen.
Did dad leave a will?
Do you have a copy?
Who were the named executors?

I know this is a very difficult time for you all right now, I've lost six family members in recent years, including my husband.
Who asked the funeral director to arrange the funeral?
The account should be sent immediately to the bank and they will settle the bill, as long as there is enough money in the account, as soon as they get the bill.

Nothing more should happen to ANY of dad's belongings or money until probate has been granted, if dad left a will. Otherwise, someone has to apply for permission to deal with the things. I've never dealt with things like this, all relatives left a will, but I think you have to apply for something called "Letters of Administration".

Where was dad living? Was it rented, or his own home? Is anyone else living there now?

[jenny lucas]

Yes, tell us a little more (or a lot more!) and we'll see what the lay of the land is.

Can you tell us 'like a story' as that will help us get the picture overall.

eg

'OK, so my dad got ill, and I was looking after him. I was living with him, and so was my brother and his wife, but my dad told them to leave because.....and then....and then.....' (or whatever the situation was that led to where it is now!)

That gives us a kind of timeline to work on.

Where is everyone now? eg, where are your family living (are they in your dad's place, and where are you living? )

Let's see what we can do to help you sort things out.

Sometimes, just telling your story, can help you sort things out in your mind as well.

[jenny lucas]

Hi - I think this is being duplicated in Mental Health section. Probably best in the New section??? Over to you, mods! Thanks -

[Colin_1705]

The funeral expenses and charges can usually be paid from the deceased persons bank account by the bank manager