Power of Attorney - finances

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I must say this POA 'investigation' has made me think of my husband and I. We have a joint account but have split our savings accounts for savings interest reasons. So given the form is quite straight forward online and from my understanding does not have to be signed by a solicitor or GP at least this is something we can do for ourselves

The Age UK pamphlet was very helpful. The website for forms online are at www.gov.uk/lasting-power-of-attorney. As I said they were very helpful with guidance on completing the form.

As for the half hour at solicitor that is useful to know - but - I am sure he will say what do your brothers think.

At the moment I think I am fed up with what seems '3 camps' and to not tempt anymore stress maybe just let it go for awhile but I don't deed a crystal ball. In fact only last week I saw my brother at my Mum's and when she was in the bathroom I said I have noticed her memory is not so good now especially around money. He looked at me as though he didn't know why i said it.
Where small smounts of money are concerned, it's easy to take over DWP benefits for xomeone else by becoming a DWP appointee. Where a bank is concerned, mum could sign a "third party mamdate" giving her permission, formally, to handle her accounts. For either of these options it's quick and easy.
By DWP - her state pensions (I guess you mean) and her private pensions are all paid into her bank account. So looking at a bank website a "third party mandate" seems OK as long as she has mental capacity. I have not read all the info but this part caught my interest.

If you have the right to handle the account of someone
who has mental capacity, you have a ‘third-party
mandate’. A third-party mandate is not appropriate if
the account holder is losing the ability to make relevant
decisions themselves.


As it stands both brothers have not mentioned one word of concern to me at all. The OT in the hospital gave me the advice from what he could see - it may mean they are not wanting to accept there are serious issues ahead. You would think as one brother is named executor to the Will - he would have asked a question - maybe not....
Appointeeship is possible for someone without mental capacity. Read up about that. Avoid mum having money tied up which she cannot access. With appointees, they must have a SEPARATE bank account.
Thank you - will do. You have all been so helpful and so pleased I have stayed with this forum. Just feeling anxious about being recognized. Lots of reading to do now and from the other support thread I posted.
Another option would be setting up a new joint account with mum if she sill has capacity at the moment Then if mum needed care in the future only half that money would count as hers if a financial assessment was done, and on her desth it would all automatically become yours, which in my own mum's case saved the cost and hassle of probate, but by then her house had been sold.
I think that makes perfect sense. BUT - when you have two other siblings (who are in their own world) then anything I do would be criticized. (Two 'intelligent men' have not said 'we need to sit down and talk about Mum's finances'.)

She also would say .... has a bank account now with my money in it.

I am just feeling so tired of it all now and I know this has to be a natural feeling.
My son has severe learninv difficulties, so I'm his appointee. The account is in both our names, so that shows it's his money. I'm the only one with a debit cardon this account. Is doing nothing an option now? If your brothers csn't be bothered, then you can take the lead and do something. If they don't like it, then they only have themselves to blame. The money is still mum's to be spent on mum only, so what objection could thry have?
Could you write a letter or email them, explaining the situation. Keeping a copies? If they do not respond then you have proof they are not interested, can't be bothered,or whatever their issue is. Or, it may open their eyes to the nature of the situation.
It is all very tiring and emotional.
Thinking of you x
Thank you all - I have two areas to deal with -

1. Identical email & text - learnt by 'atmosphere' many months ago. They both get cc emails and copied text. For example - that I have just called emergency services to get her into hospital, ward, etc. Also one to ask their thoughts on an earlier night time call to make it easier for me.

Replies basically were not addressing the issue as a 'unit' or even a good reply - I needn't have bothered. (Nothing has changed now as she has forgotten our previous 'trial' since going into hospital)

BUT - I do have copies of emails & text.

(Also I have had to deal with Resuscitation issue - which has been sorted with the aid of her GP. That was an ordeal - not only because of the subject - but I said to both of them verbally finding her for such a number of times. It really is horrible wondering what to do especially when you are told to get her in recovery position and monitor breathing. I had a dilemma, my own views after what I see each time, and the hospital spelt it out to me. I involved them both but it was still hard going.

It started off with one saying he knows how scary it can be - BUT - it didn't go any further than that. The other said just get down into the village where there is a Defibrillator)

2. Money - no arguments BUT a lot of history. So I think it will have to come to another email.

So to sum up -

With both saying before these 'methods' are not a good way to communicate! In the past I have suggested a meeting but they need to arrange when it suits them. Nothing came of that - because - I think they may not want to deal with it as there is nothing wrong?! (I am just so pleased she doesn't own her own home.) Anyway from then on I went text/email.

Just received phone call - she is happy - our conversation showed memory about one member of the family has failed. She quoted their situation years ago. I told her how it was now and she said she didn't know. Then she wanted to check if she has paid a certain bill. BUT - as I said earlier she didn't want to pick up POA.

Maybe the email has to be short - e.g. 'I have noticed decline in managing money - what are you both thinking is the way forward to handle this?'