New Carer

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
After being a foster carer for 10 years I have now retired to move in and care for my elderly brother of 76. He is on a lot of medication for various ailments and this can make him very picky and argumentative at times. Although I do try not to respond to his jibes it does get a bit wearing at times.
Recently he ha been calling me into the bathroom after he has used the toilet to complain about 'water' on the floor around the bowl, when I pointed out that this appeared to be urine and he should direct his stream better-all hell broke loose. It's not me, and it's not the cat! He keeps wanting to call out the housing repair team to come and sort it out as he says there is definitely a leak somewhere.
He has the district nurse come in now and again to make sure he is okay, I have told her that he does not leave his chair except to go to the toilet or make a cup of tea, but if I am sitting in the room he will always ask me to go and make the tea.
I try to go away on a weekend to see my children, but when I do it's mostly when something happens, like he will have a fall or feel ill and have to get an ambulance. My grown up son pops in when he can on a weekend to check on him and clear up for him.
What to do? I get quite upset at times because I don't want to burden any of my children with my problems, they have enough of their own, and I don't want to call the few friends that I have and complain, I feel that I should be chatty and pleasant when I call them.
I found this forum a good place to vent, even if nobody read it-I can at least get it down and out.
I feel terribly guilty and selfish but also feel at times trapped and alone-is that normal?
Oh dear, what a difficult situation!

You say you moved in with him, but what's the financial set up between you? Do you own your own property as well, or have any ownership of your brother's, or what?

I'm asking because sadly it might be a time for you to consider moving out again, as his care needs are increasing, and it does rather look as though, grimly, dementia is setting in!! If that is so, he will become 'unmanageable' without you giving up your ENTIRE life, and that just isn't fair either.
Hi Jenny
He lives in social housing, I do not own any property myself, have always rented. I buy all the food as my contribution to the arrangement, and of course look after him, housework and food preparation. I have thought about applying for my own place but I know he would be upset by this and don't want him to be upset, but if it means me remaining sane then I must do that.

I think you are right about the dementia, he has recently had someone come to the house to test his eyes, it was last week. I then took him into town to choose some glasses (got him a wheelchair as he cant walk far). That was only last week-this morning he asked me who \I got my glasses from and when I told him, he said that he was not happy with the company that had come to test his eyes and would phone my supplier to get some glasses. I have reassured him that his glasses will be ready on 9th of this month and we will go and collect them. He got upset that he had forgotten the whole trip out-we had been out all day, got his hair and beard cut, had something to drink in the coffee shop and did some shopping....all forgotten. It's incredibly sad.
:D