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<t>Hello fellow carers, I'm Mel and I'm the main carer for my younger brother who has Huntington's Disease (an incurable, progressive illness which has been called "the worst disease in the world" by medical professionals)
He was living independently in the north east until about six months ago when he moved to Sheffield to live near me and my family. Our little house is not big or safe enough for him to live with us (we have steep steps) and he's currently in a nice flat just two minutes away but has been given notice by the landlord after many issues with noise and damage to the property - all related to the illness, sadly - so we're in the process of looking for a council tenancy instead. <br/>
I do all his paperwork and admin as well as all the other 9 million things like washing, shopping, cooking, feeding, outings, health appointments, benefits, supervising carers (he has a company coming in for very short meds calls 3x daily, while we wait for a finance assessment for Direct Payments ) etc etc etc as I'm sure you'll all recognise! - and in addition to the illness which is difficult enough, he is alcohol dependant. May as well say alcoholic. <br/>
I only discovered this when he moved here, which was quite a shock. He says it is his way of coping with the illness but it just makes him much worse, more isolated and more prone to accidents. He is pretty much housebound and I now buy his wine in order to stop him going out on his own in a taxi and risking accidents etc late at night. I buy a week's supply online and then dish it out a day at a time, which seems to work, and I've been in touch with the local Alcohol Support service (for me, as he is clear that he doesn't want to stop) but there are still times when he escapes and goes on a bender. <br/>
It's all incredibly stressful. I have a very supportive family and some good friends but in the end it's all down to me and despite my determination to keep on top of things (swimming, seeing friends, eating / sleeping well, positive thinking and so on) a lot of the time I just crawl home after seeing him feeling totally exhausted and it is getting harder all the time to connect properly with the outside world. The worst thing is, I never ever feel like I do enough for him and the guilt is constant. I guess this might be a good place to connect with people who know exactly what I'm talking about and just share how it is. Thanks for reading, anyway, and look forward to meeting some of you here in due course.</t>
Hi Melanie and welcome :D

The best tip I can give you is to ditch the guilt - you are not responsible for your Brother's illness or his dependency on alcohol.
Instead replace the word 'guilt' with the word 'sad' - it's sad that he has Huntingdon's (terrible illness I agree) and it's sad he's an alcoholic, and it's doubly sad that both have led to him being evicted from his flat -
but none of this is your fault so your guilt is 'misplaced'.

He is the only one who can address his problem with alcohol and until he is ready to do so there is not much more you can do. From what you've written I would say that you've already doing the very best that you can for him under very difficult circumstances.
Welcome to the forum Melanie
Oh yes, that arch enemy, the guilt monster!! We all have/ had dealings with it.
You haven't anything to feel guilty about. You sound to me like you are a very caring supportive sister.
It's very sad that your brother has that dreadful disease, and now is reliant on alcohol. You can't do anything about it..
I can't offer any practical advice but know watching a loved one slowly deteriorating is the most awful painful emotion.
Sending you (((hugs)))
Some one may be along with more help than I'm able to give.
Welcome to the forum. Without you, how would he manage? as he has a progressive disease, and needs you to do "everything" for him, it is time to consider a residential placement. Why should you have to give up your whole life because he is ill with a disease and alcohol?
Does he lay guilt on you, that he has the disease and you haven't?
I know there was someone else here who had a relative with HD, right now I cannot remember who it was I'm afraid.