Hi Ailsa,
Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your partner's strokes and the life changes this has meant for all of you.

Others have given you some great advice. The only thing I have to add, is a suggestion re supervising your partner at night. Staying up late, to ensure some "me" time I totally understand, but staying awake all night is not sustainable. There are alarms available - such as a mat or a beam, that you could have set up to alert you if your partner left the bedroom for example, or wandered into the kitchen etc a This would enable you to sleep at night, knowing the alarm would awake you if he needed supervision/ support. You could probably get advice on this via an occupational therapist, they may even find it.

Melly1