Maybe Linda you describe the general 'deal' behind an April-December relationship....?

ie, that when the relationship starts, the 'April' person gets 'cared for' (whether that is financially and/or emotionally) and then that flips over at the end of the relationship, and then it's the 'December' person that gets cared for.

It kind of 'echoes' a parent/child relationship in that respect at least. Which is why I can see the advantage for you stepchildren, just as you spell out! ie, THEY don't have to do the usual 'child caring for an elderly parent' that tends to happen unless our parents die without needing care.

Katherine - glad everyone liked your dad! :)