Advice coping and caring for elderly Mum living in her own

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Hi - briefer now (the post above got very long!)

A good way to get a handle on the situation is, when you've written all those bullet point lists (!) is to try and identify the top three that cause you the most grief and irritation and stress.

It may be a 'small' thing - eg, having to wait until your mum phones to say she's going to bed before YOU can turn in for the night!

Sometimes, if we can just remove say three things from our 'stress list' it makes the rest of the duties far less onerous and stressful.

Or, say, if we just reduce the stress across the board in a small way, that can take down the overall stress levels.

It's one of the reasons I'm saying talk things through with your husband - and us! - to pick other people's brains about 'opportunities and possibilities' that work to reduce your overall stress levels.

Talking to us can be useful!! The collective experience here on the forum is huge (plus of course the team of experts on Carers UK itself), and lots of us have come up, in our time, with lots of 'wheezes' so to speak to make life easier. (A popular suggestion is an answerphone!)

I also think, as I think was suggested above by someone else (sorry, hven't checked) that approaching your mum from the pont of view of 'Mum, I want you to have outside help not for YOUR sake but for MINE, so please, do this for ME'....you tap into their role as 'parents' ie, doing something for their children, and that might work....
Will catch up with this later - I am looking forward to reading it in my 'own' time. Now need to make a phone she has had a letter she doesn't understand.