Signing in....

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Dad passed away 8 days ago, so I guess I had better make myself acquainted with this section of the forum.

I was a PT carer for 6 months and FT for 3 years, more or less. He had poor mobility, multiple utis/chest infections, bowel adhesion problems and over the past year had been diagnosed with dementia.

Still finding my way from 15-18 hr days with someone else's routine as priority into my own world again - for some reason i keep going to bed around 6-7pm and waking for 1-2 hrs during the night - not a problem, but different.

still plodding thru the rigmarole of post-death procedures - trying to do everything myself except for the changing of house deeds name from his to mine. think i need a legal hand in on that one. one major 'phew' moment today, when the bank axed his name from the joint account (his money/my assistance to him to help him get to it as his fingers couldnt hit the right keys on the pin pads, etc) so i have enough to cover funeral deposits/services etc....no debts/delays!

am fine mentally/spiritually due to my personal belief - but am physically exhausted from trying to do the lot solo re documents, arrangings, appts, organizing, changing names, etc....hope for a 2-3 weeks chunk of a breath post 'sorting it all out' to sort myself out - so I know what i will move into with the next chunk of life.
I reckon I'm sort of eligible for this thread due to losing Dad but still caring for Mum so hopping between the two. I feel for you Mads the post death sorting out has really taken its toll on me I am just about exhausted with the whole thing and I haven't even got probate to deal with Image Mum's energy supplier is Npower and I have had an absolute nightmare with them. They closed Dads account down and just sat on £288 the amount that his account was in credit and then opened two different accounts for Mum neither of which stating me as an appointee although I sent off all the DWP forms stating that I was, and upped her direct debit to £202 per month and increase from £130 when the account was in Dads name and some 10 very traumatic phone calls later and the intervention of their Director who apparently "doesn't often take calls to the public" I have managed to get it sorted - I have to say even if Mum were in a mental position to sort this it would have sent her round the bend anyway. An absolute nightmare from start to finish with all the utility bills. I am now awaiting confirmation from the council tax folk that she will indeed be exempt - I sent the form signed by our Doctor off to them at the beginning of this week and am now awaiting a reply.
Big hug filled with strength coming to you Mads xx
Thanks - and have a HUG back, it sounds like your experience is even worse than mine! At least I have not yet encountered any major hiccups, only a drain on time and energy.