Sad, bereft, lonely

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Thanks Jenny. You're right, in a way tears are a tribute. I'm not ashamed of my tears, but I'd like to have a bit more self control sometimes. Ah well.

Your phrase about Mum not being the "best Mum in the world" has some truth in it, but I don't mean that unkindly, because anyway who IS the best mother in the world?! Also, I wasn't the best daughter either. But I have to say, in Mum's defence, that when she was younger and we were small children, she was a loving mother who did the best she could for us, in difficult circumstances. Dad provided the money, but NOTHING else, as he had no paternal feelings and no patience with children. At times it must have felt to her like she was bringing us up alone. This is one of the things I discussed with her before she died, as I wanted her to know that I knew how hard it had been for her, and how little support she had from Dad. It was really only in the last few years of Mum's life that she withdrew into herself and became very unaware of others, but that was due to old age and many other things taking their toll on her. So, looking back, I'm grateful to Mum for all she did. I hope she knew that, and I'm so sorry I didn't tell her more often, but hopefully she understood.
I really feel for you. My husband died on 5th March. The world seems empty without him so I share all your feelings of desolation. I guess we just work through a day at a time and the pain will lessen. After 24 hour caring the emptiness is terrible
sorry for your loss christine,
hugs bigbear x