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Prolonged physical problems after caring

Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 11:28 am
by Maggie_151112
Can anyone give me some advice or comment on their experiences post caring. I cared for my husband with dementia for 10 years and know that I wasn't sensible in looking after myself when handling him physically. I am now left with with a fairly painful on going groin strain which is often painful from the back to below the knee. Have had physio but they say could be a long time before it heals. Also I've had serious chest infection needing two courses of antibiotics and predisnone. Am left feeling totally weak and am still taking to my bed almost 4 weeks later. I feel that I'm perhaps I'm having a massive reaction to the years spent caring. I want to join society again and live my life but can't seem to get on an even keel. Any suggestions?

Re: Prolonged physical problems after caring

Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 12:52 pm
by bowlingbun
Maggie, long term caring takes a huge amount of energy, both mental and physical. The loss of a partner takes forever to just come to terms with, so you have a "Double Whammy".
I was widowed 11 years ago. If at all possible, I'd suggest a holiday away, on your own, and that's important. You don't have to go far, I went just 40 miles away from home once, but it was enough to take me away from everything, so I could concentrate on me and how I felt. I found self catering was best, then I could read a book and have a cuppa when I woke up, but could go back to bed until lunchtime if I wanted to. Just go for short walks, visit garden centres, National Trust properties, anywhere that feels calm and peaceful.
If finances will allow, I can recommend a lovely singles only hotel in Crete, not a matchmaking place, just for single people to have a great holiday doing as much or as little as they feel like, with lovely food. I found that many people there were themselves former carers.

Re: Prolonged physical problems after caring

Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:38 pm
by MrsAverage
Hi Maggie
There's been many a post on here about how carers physically fall apart when the caring stops. I think it is because we've held ourselves so tense and put ourselves second so long the when the stress releases its like flood gates being opened and everything floods out at once
I think it's normal and just our bodies way of letting us know it was too much
All I can suggest is to be kind to yourself physically and mentally, so thats healthy food, gentle exercise, friends and companionship , yoga or mindfulness, medication, massage, the odd treat, and not in any way beating yourself up over anything. If your mind feels numb, let it be numb, if body is saying rest me, rest you do.
Be gentle and kind with yourself, this period will pass
And a holiday or break wouldn't go amiss either
Kr
MrsA