Picking up the threads...................

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
How are you picking up the threads of your life post caring ? If you’re like me, single, over 60 with no children of your own and friends all long gone due to caring having taken over the last few years of your life then you’re probably finding it difficult to ‘pick up the threads’.

I do have ‘family’ - a sister and bro-in-law; two married nieces with children etc – but they all have very busy lives with little time to spare for me and my loneliness, and to be truthful I don’t expect or want them to make time for me out of pity.

What I do want/need is to make new friends and to find something that will fill my empty days (just how many times do I need to polish the furniture !). Unfortunately in my area there isn’t much available for single women in my age group – plenty for the over 80’s and plenty for young Mum’s with toddlers, even lots of social clubs for couples – but nothing for the singletons in the 60-70 age group who still think they’re 45 Image

So how are you coping ? What strategies have you got to get through yet another 24 hours without talking to a single soul ?
http://www.womanandhome.com/forums/thre ... ght=Sutton

Not sure if this is of any use to you but it may be worth a try?
I too will be in your position one day and although I have a bucket list of things to do, I'm sure that I will be very lonely doing them.

I've had a look at Anne's suggestion and it looks good.

I know someone who joined a local ramblers group and she has made great friends through it. Apart from groups and volunteering, I don't know what to suggest, but I will have a think for you.
I'm thinking hard about this too. I'm doing three days a week at work at the moment but haven't too many years left and with work and caring I'm very aware that I really have little social contact with people in my local community.
First of all put that duster away and the polish. Change your daily routine in its entirety. Record any favourite TV programmes and view them at the "wrong" time of day (or night).
Why? try it and see if it makes a difference to how you feel.x

Make the decision that you will get yourself out more often and see people. People of ANY age at all. Even find a cafe you like for a regular cuppa or coffee. chat to staff, chat to regulars. never turn down any invitation.
As someone else mentioned ...... Voluntary work. Anything worth a try. Those lunch groups for those in their eighties?? Hmmm might they have younger volunteers like yourself present to help out?? Possibly.

Learn something. Anything. from ballroom dancing to the life of Socrates. not interested in Socrates? How do you know that? WEA or LA courses or U3A. From scrabble, croquet, indoor bowls, chess,Bridge???? crafts?
gentler types of exercise class? tai Chi?

Can you do dog or cat sitting?
One thing can lead to another.

let us know how you get on. Image
If there are National Trust properties near you they nearly always are looking for volunteers to do a range of supporting activities, and the NT website I think gives a helkpful list. most volunteers are retired people looking to do something both enjoyable and useful, and in (very!) nice surroundings.

All the best - J

PS - the Womans Own forum runs lunch clubs in a lot of places, again, the info is on their site.
SusieQ, good luck to you in whatever you do, just so long as you stay on the forum.

xxx
just seen something you might like:-

Life is like riding a bicycle you have to keep moving to keep your balance.
Hi sue,
Afraid I'm in the same boat as you, bit younger , I know exactly what you mean
I'm in a wee crafts club, been thinking I'm too young for it lately. but it means
your out chatting to new people. and older women are less bitchy I find.
crafts keep your mind busy. had a wee look at Anne's forum. might join it.
If your like me I find nobody can replace Mum, I cared for so long like you ,its
like your in a bubble, then back to reality, when they are gone. and everybody as
you say has moved on, and deep down don't want to know.
I'm facing another xmas on my own. I have family like you but as you say all
busy lifestyles. so I'm looking round the web etc, so will keep in touch. Hugs
Minnie x
Image you haven't commented. Guess we haven't helped Image

Can it possibly be that you need motivation? What can we do?

DR