Re: Mum passed away yesterday. Devastated and lost.
Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 8:40 pm
I think maybe your Mum summed up your partner pretty well (probably from picking up clues and info from you, before she'd even met him, as to how he'd lived his life). Is he, in fact, something of a gold digger? A man with a broken marriage behind him, who didn't want to commit to a new relationship, but was happy to get involved with a single woman who owned vacant business premises which he could use rent free, and who stood to inherit a valuable asset one day? I'm so sorry to be so blunt, but he seems very eager for you to cash in your inheritance by selling the house, and I find it shocking that he's implying he lost money in the business due to you looking after your mother. He seems to have overlooked the fact that he has enjoyed the benefit of rent free business premises - so this isn't an equal partnership by any means - you are in effect his landlady!Partner and I want different things yet I don't want to be alone. My mum wouldn't have anything to do with him, she thought I could do better. To be fair, she made up her mind before meeting him and that situation caused a lot of arguments. I suppose he is glad that she is dead.
I would trust your mother's instincts regarding this man. Think back - you say she had a lot of friends and was popular - was she a good judge of character? Do you believe she had your best interests at heart and genuinely wanted your happiness, when she said that you "could do better"? I would rather be alone than with someone who was more interested in me bankrolling their business than living with me. Loneliness is a horrible thing, but this man doesn't seem to be offering you real companionship and support, he seems more interested in what he can get out of you, than what he can give. I am sorry to say it but I think maybe the support he offered you over the last 4 months was by way of keeping you sweet, rather than a sign of genuinely caring for you. I know this is the last time you want to be making any big decisions, but the fact you've already taken legal advice tells me you know that your mother was right about this man. Please don't let this man manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do, and think very carefully about becoming too involved with him. Loneliness is horrible, but I think your mother is right, you can do better. (I've also not even met this man... but your words have red flags waving in my head each time I read them. I'd be happy to be proved wrong but just feel concerned that you have no one in real life to wave the red flags.)