Mum Died

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
I cant explain the pain i feel after losing my Mum around 12 weeks ago. I lived with her and was with her every waking moment, i was her only child and we were very close, i cared for her for eight years after she had two strokes one of which had left her blind in one eye , she also had two heart attacks but she never complained. I miss her very much and feel really lost not having her to care for anymore.
It doesn't matter how old we are when it happens, but losing a parent makes us feel like an orphan. It's hard, hard, hard to bear.

Always remember 'Your tears are your tribute' - who would want to be someone whose death simply caused relief, or even rejoicing? To be mourned is to be greatly loved - and the love never, never ends.....she will be in your heart for ever.

Think of her, if you can, as I thiought of my poor cancer-stricken husband when he died, that they are now free of their illness, free of the torment of a failing body, free of all earthly pains and suffering.....

With kindest wishes at this grievous time - Jenny
I think we can all relate to how hard it is losing someone but when you've also been that persons carer its a double wammy. Your whole identity is changed in an instant. Take care of yourself and take each breath as it comes it takes a while to adjust but you will get there
I'm so sorry for your loss, the pain must be unbearable. Be kind to yourself, you are a wonderful daughter to have cared for her with such love. Thinking of you xx
My mum died in January 2006 and I don`t think I will ever get over it...........nor would I want to. I was calm and cool at the funeral and dry eyed as I had shed my tears for mum when she lost her mind to dementia some 10 years earlier. It hit me like a brick six months later in the middle of the supermarket over seeing walnut whips of all things.....mum loved them and dad got the nuts!

Thinking of you at this difficult time.xx
We all understand the way you feel Wendy, Hugs, stay on this site it will
help you. Day at a time. one foot in front of the other. I also lost my mum , and
cared for a lot of years, know exactly how you feel.
Minnie
I was widowed seven years ago, and would say it takes a very long time to come to terms with any loss of any loved one. At first, we go round in a fog, we busy ourselves with the paperwork, and then when that is done, it hits us. This is the worst phase of all, when the fog clears. You were probably busy running round for years, and stopping seems even worse? Take yourself away for a few days, there are loads of cheap bed and breakfast deals on Late Rooms. Mooch round and allow yourself to do nothing. Away from home, it's sometimes easier to "think straight". Allow your body the time and space to recuperate. There's no hurry to rush into anything, take as much time as you can afford to take it easy. One day you will realise that you are comfortable with your new way of living.
Thank you all for your kind and wise words, i have taken note of them all . I find it so hard to think only of myself now, because caring for my mum was my life, we were so very close and i loved her so much, the empty chair, a room filled with silence, where once their was laughter is painful, because she was such a happy person. It is a comfort to know you all understand having been in the same position.
Wendy
Just to let you know, you are in my thoughts. Stay strong, you are not alone it just feels like it. Much love xxx
wendy.. my thoughts are with you also..... i lost my dad of 96 back in may this year and i miss him so much... i am 51 and was also an only child,, and for the those 51 years me and dad were always so close,, it was just him and me since mum died 21 years ago... i,m not ashamed to say that since the day dad died there has,nt been a day when i have,nt cried..
when i,m at work i,m fine, but as soon as i get home thats when it hits me,, i just have to look at his photo or think of something he would do or say and the tears just start to fall.. that man was my best friend and the last 6 months without him have been so hard... although dad was quite active for his age i did do a lot for him... since he has died i just feel useless and worthless and feel like there is no reason to be here......
my dad loved christmas. and the thought of waking up christmas morning and him not being here breaks my heart...
when my mum died i did,nt seem to grieve as much .. i think mainly i was trying to be strong for my dad,, but now i seem to be grieving for them both and miss them both so much... family are nowhere to be found and friends who see me at work and out and about dont see how much i,m hurting..... i suppose all i can say to you wendy is lets keep strong and maybe one day soon we will start to feel a little better x