Moving on too

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
I recently lost my sweet mum three weeks ago and still in shock. I had been my mum's main carer (unpaid) and she was with me. I feel really sad, lost without her - we shared so many lovely memories together despite her Parkinson's Disease and Rhemutoid Arthertis. I miss our morning routines, brushing her teeth, combing her hair. She was my sweet little doll. I've been told by my social housing that I need to vacate our property within 28 days and I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. : ( I just turned 39 earlier this week and my whole life has been around mum. Is there anyone that can help me please?? Thanks, xx
Mira, firstly, condolences on the loss of your mum - when someone we love dies, even if it was a 'merciful release' at all, we still feel that huge gaping gap in our lives. I always say 'Absence has a presence' - ie, we 'feel' them there, but they are not, and it hurts, hurts, hurts.

On practical issues, ie, your accommodation, there is a lot of cumulative experience here on the forum, but it might be a good idea to repost your question in a thread of its own, eg, on All About Caring, perhaps, as more people wil lsee it and be able to respond.

You might also think it a good idea to email the team of experts at Carers uK (emailing is better than the busy Helpline apparently) to get their feedback on what your position is now, and if you can stay longer. It seems very harsh to expect you to move out, when you are only just beginning to cope with losing your mum. I hope a solution can be found.

Kindest wishes to you, at this sad time. It sounds like your mum had a devoted daughter indeed.....
I suggest that you contact the Carers UK Adviceline team as they are the experts on all matters related to caring and benefits. They will be able to advise you on what to do next regarding accommodation etc.
Need expert advice? You can talk to the Carers UK Adviceline five days a week, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.

Freephone: 0808 808 7777
email: advice@carersuk.org
Open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm

The Carers UK Adviceline also includes a listening service, there for you to talk through your caring situation with a trained volunteer who understands what you are going through. Available Mondays and Tuesdays, from 9am to 7pm
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If you can’t get through on the phones (lines are often oversubscribed) then send them an email, they’ll usually get back to you within 3-5 working days.
Do NOT move out until forced to do so. Speak to Shelter as soon as possible.
Yes, good idea to phone Shelter - I'm sure they know the drill in 'crisis situations'.

Also, remember, that you can't be evicted without a court order, whoever your landlord is!

I know it's horrible to have to deal with these grim practicalities when all you want to do is mourn your mum, but it is one of the wretched things about the 'aftermath' of someone dying - even without your housing predicament there is a mountain of paperwork to go through, at the very time you least want to face it.

Kindest wishes at this sad and difficult time - Jenny
Thank you Jenny for the taking the time to read this post, and giving me encouraging advice and helpful tip, I will try and repost this in the other thread as you mention and will email Carers UK too. xx
Thank you Bowlingbun, I spoke with them today, left details and they will get back to me. I've had sleepless nights since receiving the letter, miss my mum so much and feel emotionally tired : ( xx
bowlingbun wrote:Do NOT move out until forced to do so. Speak to Shelter as soon as possible.
Thank you Susieq, I will contact the advice line tomorrow as I think it's closed over the weekend. Really appreciate this. xx
susieq wrote:I suggest that you contact the Carers UK Adviceline team as they are the experts on all matters related to caring and benefits. They will be able to advise you on what to do next regarding accommodation etc.
Need expert advice? You can talk to the Carers UK Adviceline five days a week, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.

Freephone: 0808 808 7777
email: advice@carersuk.org
Open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm

The Carers UK Adviceline also includes a listening service, there for you to talk through your caring situation with a trained volunteer who understands what you are going through. Available Mondays and Tuesdays, from 9am to 7pm
.


If you can’t get through on the phones (lines are often oversubscribed) then send them an email, they’ll usually get back to you within 3-5 working days.
Mira,
The helpline is often very busy, as it's so good. However, if you email them they will ALWAYS get back to you asap. Usually their turn round time is under a week.
Many years ago I worked somewhere that helped people facing eviction. Although I wasn't directly involved in any way, I learned a bit about the process. Whilst the housing authority might ask you to leave within a month, there is quite a long process to go through before they actually evict you, which will involve a court order for repossession, if I remember rightly. It's vital you don't leave before you have to. I'm sure our helpline and/or Shelter will be able to help more, especially as there may well have been changes in the legislation.
Can I ask what reason they have given to asking you to move out? Sometimes, people can have a tenancy made over to them, but I don't know how that works in detail. (Someone else on the forum may know more, I know we have a former Housing Officer or similar as a member).
Maybe contact Shelter or the CAB.

But you could make a visit to the housing association and ask them if you can have the tenancy passed on to you. Say that you have nowhere else to live. Have they got you on their records as a dependent of your mother?