I'm struggling and don't know what to do.

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Hi Lo ( :?: :!: ;) )
The more you say the more I know you would benefit from counselling. Please use this web site to chose some near you, then speak or visit each to see who you would be comfortable with.
You wouldn't need to physically express your anger unless you wanted to, but they should be able to find other ways of help you letting go some of this stress and distress
https://www.bacp.co.uk

BTW, I find it interesting hubby allows himself to throw things and storm out, but doesn't let you. Not very equal is it? (question for you to ask yourself,, not answer on here)

Ans as Jenny says, letting stuff build up, even if it's under a lid, is just priming it ready for a big explosion. Which would you prefer, a dangerous blow up, or steady release with help of a counsellor? (Again not for public answer)

Feeling for you
Kr
MrsA
Thanks Mrs A xx I'm off to look at the website right now.

And yes, Lo is a nickname that people seem to enjoy using the way you did just then.
Oh, and if things don't explode, then they implode and that can be as destructive....

Some of us have been there, got the t-shirt and know we don't want it ever again...

Xx
Ps
, we too have had poorly cat and no luck with meds directly.
Now we put it on to (just one at a time of course!)
Taramasalata
Whipped cream
Cream cheese
Pate
Hairball paste

Just a little bit of the food at a time and its get wolfed down before she realises the medicine is there. job done, easy peasy
Hope it helps
MrsA
Hiding pills doesn't work any more with her. She's too darn clever. Finds it every single time. We've found it tucked under her food bowl (I have no idea how she managed that), under her paw after the chicken is all finished, spat a distance of up to a metre away from her......she's incredibly sneaky. She's greedy enough for chicken that it worked for 2 years, but she's now sniffing each piece before she eats it. Anything remotely suspicious and she's off. Tried liquid meds, but her wee body doesn't seem to be able to absorb it that way. The pills at least work, if we can get her to eat the darn things. I'm even considering asking the vet if an injection would work, and learn how to give it to her myself. We're running out of ideas here. She's far too clever....
Some human medicine is available in liquid form, as well as tablet, but GPs prescribe it in tablets unless otherwise asked. Maybe ask the vet if this applies to the medicine the cat has?
Lo, I have this problem too and can't hide it in food.

I use the straddle technique. Think of it as riding a (very) small pony! Wait until she is lying down then from behind, one leg either side of the cat facing away from you, with your feet together so that they can't back out. One hand over the eyes/head pulling the head back, the other hand with pill in it opening the lower mouth. Put pill in, clamp hands over the mouth until cat swallows. Sounds brutal but I find she forgets about it 30 secs later.

Then have a very stiff drink (you not the cat) and forget about it until the following day!
Giving pills to cats ?

I bless the day I found the pill popper (available from your vet or any of the pet superstores and, of course, Amazon) - it's brilliant ! My cat is very 'feisty' when it comes to giving her medication but this does work.

However if all else fails you can arrange to take the animal to the vet where the nurses can usually succeed !

Attachments

Oh dear, we've tried all techniques apart from the "horse" position. One pill took us over 20 minutes, and of course by then, we're ALL deeply distressed.

We now get meds in liquid form and hubby holds her (not firmly enough imo, as she manages to escape every time) whilst I gently push the syringe dispenser thing into her cheek gap (ie not inside the teeth) and dispense a little at a time. She does swallow most of it but also has a habit of allowing her cheek to fill then it just dribbles out.

At the moment, we need to give her pain medication, her normal thyroid meds and a liquid antibiotic. Her thyroid med seems to taste okay, but we've just had to double her dose and that takes six squishes to get into her. The pain meds also don't taste too bad, and one squish does the full dose. The antibiotics though....boy oh boy, she HATES those. The pack says "palatable drops". My butt, they're palatable. They make the poor wee lamb foam at the mouth.

Last night's dosing was epic. She escaped three times from hubby's arms, shredded his shoulders, spat bright yellow antibiotic drops all over our cream fabric sofa and knocked over a vase of flowers on our beautiful mahogany coffee table, soaking me, herself, water staining the wood and dousing the carpet and a wool embroidered footstool. It took twenty minutes to get it all down her.

We've come to the conclusion that she must be feeling better....
Can I also just say a quick thank you to everyone who has responded to my original post. Just knowing that I'm not the only one struggling helped. Somehow, knowing that I'm actually entitled to feel that way helps me feel it less. Does that make sense? Being told I'm over reacting, that I'm being "dramatic", that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.....it felt like everything I experienced was being dismissed. Unimportant. Not worth acknowledging.

Thank you for allowing me to express myself without judgement. I wish I'd found this forum years ago, instead of just a few months before Mum's death.

xxx