Feel lost and lonely

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
That is a lovely piece of writing.

Thank you for sharing.xx
Thanks for sharing your writing with us Blueeyes, I wish I could convey my feelings like that. x
Blueeyes, I have just read your post with tears in my eyes. 11 days ago, my hubs died of lung and bone cancer. I cared for him right to the end. 21 months ago, my mum died of brain cancer. There was an age gap between me and hubs, I am 47 and he was 78. We would have been married 15 years on 1st August. We talked of this, because of the age gap, but I realise now I was woefully un prepared.
I can relate to what you say, I feel so guilty that I am here and he is not. I am not only taking it day by day, but hour by hour as I don't know how to cope. I, too, wish my mum was here to help me.
I have wonderful family and friends, but I just want hubs back.

All i can do is send you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))), as I'm feeling as lost as you are. I'm told with time, I will learn to cope. I just hope that's right.

Love Phoebe xx
Came back from the auctioneers' this morning, via a dear friend's house for coffee and went into garden to finish off the nettle/thistle destroying. Got 3/4 way round and collapsed on the grass in tears and just lay there staring at the blue sky through the tree branches and told Mark everything about everything. He used to sit on the patio and I used to make sure the garden was so lovely, for him mainly, to look at, even to sit at the bedroom window whilst he was being shaved and look at it all being nice. It was important for me to keep it looking Nice for HIM.
I have no incentive to keep it nice now, it's way too big now it seems (it didn't before) and it's all got away from me in a big way. Haven't been maintaining it as I had before - for hubby, it's a mess.
Burst into tears on way home in the car, just because I'd seen this friend and his wife and they've got each other.
I feel like I don't belong to anyone - or anywhere anymore. I need to belong to someone, not floating around like a disturbed soul or a fairy flitting here and there and belonging nowhere.
Not a good afternoon, worrying about agents tomorrow, then off to shredders then on to look after friend after her gallstone op, cos her husband's off out working way before he was allowed to be.