chronic back pain

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Hi
Even though Social Services gave me a carers assessment and during it I mentioned several times that my back was in severe pain with all the lifting my Wife in and out of bed between 4 and 6 times in 24 Hours I was only given two carers visits a day and no training or equipment or even advice on safe lifting from either Social Services, my GP or even the district Nurses and as a result I cannot now work and have no income whatever as DWP insist I must have savings left from the sale of my house which I do not, I neither Rent nor own any Property but am staying with my Brother in his Father in Laws Granny flat however it has been made clear to me that if a Tenant for the flat comes along I must vacate it.

I rang DWP about benefits but they want me to go in which in my condition is impossible so that was the end of that.

Should Social Services have helped me more with lifting advice and/or equipment and I was never even offered Counseling after the passing of my Wife, I still break down in tears at least twice a Day even after 14 Months.

I just don't know who to turn to for help or advice anymore, I keep getting letters from HMRC and forms to fill in but I just hide them away as I cannot concentrate enough to complete them and do not want anyone else seeing my Private information anyway.

I have rung the local CAB but unfortunately cannot get there as I live at the bottom of an uphill sloping 1km road and my back will not allow me to walk up any incline or decline to the Bus stop at the top.

Please Please can anyone offer any Help or advice to me?

Thank you in anticipation

I just feel totally left on the sidelines now and sit here day in and day out getting bored with my situation and just want to Die.
Oh, Lord, that's ridiculous that you can't get the help you are (I hope!) entitled to because you physically can't get in to the offices.....

CAB is, sadly, often oversubscribed.

I can understand why the forms are daunting (sometimes one suspects they are designed to put claimants off!!!!!!), but can your brother not help you go through them, and fill them out?

Also, I wonder if you could get in touch with something like Help the Aged (irrespective of how old you are!) and ask if there are any volunteers around who could spend an hour or so visiting you to help you fill out the forms.

Finally, what about emailing the help line here at Carers UK, who may either be able to help you fill out the forms, or give you better advice.

I can't see why the DWP etc don't believe your financial situation - surely just putting them in touch with your bank, or the solicitor that handled the sale of the house, should give them the 'proof' they need - or simply sending them photocopies of your bank statements?

I do hope things get sorted out before too long. Have you had a medical assessment of your back by your GP? Could you phone your surgery and see if they can supply transport to get you into the surgery? Or better still, send a doctor out to check you over and write whatever the DWP needs to be convinced you are incapable physically of work???

WIshing you all the best, Jenny
it's all very well me claiming benefits but it is no substitute for earning my own wage, that is why I feel angry, because I was let down by everyone even though I asked, asked and asked again for help my pleas were ignored and as a result will probably never be able to work again yet would have had years of earning yet ahead of me instead of having to scrape a living on benefits with no chance of a fresh start.

I have lost everything I previously took for granted, our home, I am at the moment staying with my brother, my job, my social life, all gone it's no wonder I get depressed to the point of ending it all.

It amazes me still at how a carers world can be turned upside down especially the financial side of it, £500 deposit for a stairlift then £39 a month rental on top, £100's on extra incontinence products, £25,000 having the bathroom converted into a wet room, 3 or 4 loads of washing every day of the week all done without any help at all it's no wonder I feel worn out all the time and am now just about broke is it, I wonder if other non carers know just how life changing being a carer really is?

Thank you
Nodigitsever, your story is heartbreaking. I fully understand how angry and upset you must feel, having gone through so much with so little support. Your story is a cautionary tale for anyone who is considering taking on full time caring responsibilities.

My elderly mother is approaching the end of her life and has lost mobility now. She only weighs 5.5 stones, but even so she is awkward to move as she is very frail and fragile, so it's best done by 2 nurses now. That is one of the reasons why the consultant said that home care is not safe, either for Mum or her carers, due the risk of back injuries. I have the feeling that you were entitled to a lot more practical support than you were given. Have you considered writing letters of complaint to social services/the consultant/local health authority? Or writing to your MP? You have nothing to lose and it might be possible to claim some form of compensation for your financial losses, due in part to the lack of support. I see your situation similar to that of a disabled soldier, who has battled through war, to find that there is no adequate support back in civilian life. Help for Heroes gives support to those soldiers that the system fails, but it seems there is no equivalent back up for ex carers. It's very sad, because caring can also be a battle zone. Use your anger to fuel this battle to get your life back on track.
I have only just seen your reply SheWolf and must say it is a surprise to me to hear you have actually been listened to by your health care professionals.

I did as advised on here and went to see the Doctor about my back pain, he gave me a note back dated and I attended an assessment however, this morning I have received a letter telling me my claim for benefits have been turned down so in about a months time I will have absolutely no income and therefore no roof over my head, I have I think just about hit rock bottom, I will of course appeal my case regarding benefits but do not hold out much hope to be honest.
Nodigitsever, I'm so sorry to hear that you're still having trouble with your claim. Have you considered going to a specialist solicitor, one who deals with cases on a no win, no fee basis? Some solicitors will give you the first 30 mins of advice free anyway.

What does your brother think of your situation? Surely he must have witnessed much of your situation first hand and will be aware of how much you've suffered as a result of being let down by the system? From my current situation with me elderly mother, I have learned that if a patient is terminally ill and not expected to live longer than 3 months, they fulfill the criteria for fast track funding of Continuous Healthcare. So, I believe that your wife would certainly have met that criteria towards the end of her life, which means that you would have been entitled to have her cared for in a nursing home or hospice, or have a fully funded package of care to support her at home. You should never have been in the position of doing so much, with so little support or equipment. It may be possible to make a backdated claim for at least the last 3 months of financial outlay that you suffered as a result of not having the correct care package.

Do you have any friends or family who might be willing to phone some solicitors and make some initial enquiries on your behalf? Or could they help you complete any forms or write letters of complaint? You may be reluctant to share personal information, but you seem to need help after struggling alone for so long. I think maybe it's time to accept help, if anyone is willing to offer it.