Sick of stupidity & incompetence

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In the last 3-4 years I'd need more than both hands and both feet to count how many times my husband has ended up on bedrest because of the incompetence or stupidity of those paid to care for him when I'm at work ie carers and District nurses. Hubby has a C5 complete spinal injury, with very little padding left on his backside! He has yet again had to go on bedrest for a sore which had 'healed' (there's a hole!) and the dressing I put on last night had magically disappeared by lunchtime today (Duoderm dressings can't just rub off, I need adhesive remover! He has no sensation so is as baffled as me as nobody has informed him it was missing or removed). So here we are again, a couple in our 30s who can put their lives on hold AGAIN for the next month or more. I know folk here understand how draining daily caring can be which is why I feel safe to vent here. I don't know anyone else really who understands first hand. Him being on bedrest is rubbish for him, I know it is, and i kind of feel I have no right to complain in comparison. But being up numerous times per night turning him, getting up for a days work, coming home, turning him, cook dinner, feed him his dinner (he can manage to feed himself when in his chair), turn again, wash and teeth brushed (never mind doing anything for me) leads to me being tired, cranky, my pain levels rocket (I have hypermobility, osteoarthritis, coccydynia) then I feel guilty that he feels bad I'm in pain! I just want 'professionals' to be vigilant. Every time he's on bedrest it's extended by a couple weeks due to mistakes they're making! It is so infuriating.
Apologies, just needed to get it out my head.
Rowena - I feel for you!

You are so young to be having your lives ruined like this. I know those on here who are wiser than I, and who have been helping me, will tell you that you need to look after yourself first, because if you are stressed,ill, and overworked, then you cannot do the things you need to do for your husband.

Are you complaining to the care agencies enough?

I have had similar incompetence with the people that come to my partner. Like an enabler who takes him swimming - this is a vulnerable 70 year old with medical issues and dementia - quite by chance family and I rocked up at the leisure centre, only to see the enabler leaning against his car enjoying the sunshine, my poor ould fella inside having a swim,sauna and shower, completely unaccompanied and using a pool with no life guard!!!

My top line of defence when complaining, is to go to the top person in the agency, tell them your concerns, and if you do not appear to be getting anywhere, suggest that all this would look really good in the local newspaper ( or national, or The Sun!), and then politely ask for their full name, official title, and how long they have been in their position.It works.

I know you will get some really good advice on here, from the others, but good luck to you, I wish you well.
:)
Thanks for that, I feel for you too when you've witnessed first hand an enabler not doing their job and putting your other half's safety at risk. I'd be fuming. Unfortunately amongst the ones making mistakes is the lead nurse for the entire area. The care agency don't really give two hoots...every year at the annual review we ask for specific training (relevant to his condition) for his allocated staff and every year it's not done. Half of them have never even had skin integrity info given to them.

I was feeling very low last night, hence the very long winded rant, I've had time to rationalise a wee bit since then. Telling myself this bout won't last forever. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply, it means a lot.

Wishing you all very best.
Rowena, you are allowed to rant here. Sometimes, it's only by looking again at something you wrote earlier that you realise just how bad things are and just how badly they are affecting you. Is it really that bad? YES!
Rowena Harrison wrote:Thanks for that, I feel for you too when you've witnessed first hand an enabler not doing their job and putting your other half's safety at risk. I'd be fuming. Unfortunately amongst the ones making mistakes is the lead nurse for the entire area. The care agency don't really give two hoots...every year at the annual review we ask for specific training (relevant to his condition) for his allocated staff and every year it's not done. Half of them have never even had skin integrity info given to them.

I was feeling very low last night, hence the very long winded rant, I've had time to rationalise a wee bit since then. Telling myself this bout won't last forever. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply, it means a lot.

Wishing you all text best.
As BB has said - you are allowed to rant as much as you like on here - I do - BB knows that!!
Social Worker has just left after a long chat - even she says that the only way I can get out of my predicament is to leave the poor ould fella, and live elsewhere......We are not married, only been together a few years, and now I am a housekeeper not a friend/companion/lover ... wish they wouldn't put these ideas into my head.....

Good luck dear, you are on a bumpy road, and I hope we can make the journey better..