Was thinking the other day. Things which dear old dad says which make people laugh even if its not funny at the time. Here's a good collection from him:-

After having eating problems and GP advising him to try non-solid food and avoid meat (which he couldn't chew") - "I'm getting weaker and weaker - thing is if I don't eat meat I won't be getting all the vitamins I need". I did point out that I haven't seen many vegetarians keel over in the street recently!

"Taxis are not for people like us". I laughed at this one - didn't know the class system was so strict in this country! My grandparents were coal miners from the welsh valleys, he worked in a factory all his life, I work in an office as an IT consultant so its a bit different for me (Im fortunate not to work underground after all!)
This was his response to my suggestion that I'd pay £10 for a taxi to take him to hospital appointment rather than I drive 65 miles from work.

"Your brothers got a new job. Good money too - over £100 a week". I couldn't stop laughing at this one.

When Social were going to fit a walk in shower for him and wanted £800 contribution off him. He thought £800 was the full cost - in truth it was over £3K "£800 to fit a shower - thats daylight robbery. Should be £200-£300". As if he knows.

"You must be rich having that much money to pay on petrol" Watching me in the petrol station as I fill car up with £80 of Diesel. I don't bother explaining it goes on credit card which gets paid off monthly anyway. And not sure how he think I'm going to get to work otherwise! Common thread about money here!

EVERY SINGLE TIME I PHONE HIM USING HANDSFREE BLUETOOTH IN THE CAR. "Where are you?""In the car Dad". "Are you using your mobile?" . "Yes Dad - your on handsfree - remember I explained it?". "You're going to get a ticket - you're not allowed to use your mobile when you're driving!" Aaaaaaaaaaaarrgggghhhh!

Probably his best ever one is when I told him wife was pregnant with our daughter. Bearing in mind, she was 42 at the time (So we're not kids - been married over 20 years").
"What? She can't be - shes too old. Its not safe to have kids over 40. What did the hospital say? So why on earth did you do that? You need your head read. Can you afford it?" Cheers Dad! lol.