How do I deal with hospital discharge?

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mum is now in hospital having had a nasty fall. She's 93. We are not sending her back to her care home as it was rubbish and have emptied her room.

She's been in hospital 5 days and it's clear she won't be coming out for a few days but people keep warning me that they suddenly discharge people.

She can't live at mine as I don't have a spare room, she can't climb stairs and couldn't get into our bath either.

I have her name down for a place at a nursing home rather than a care home now because I think that will suit her better. They have no places and i haven't actually found a home that does have places around here.

Can somebody tell me how to deal with it when someone does say she is ready for discharge please as we have nowhere to put her. We have just sold her house so she will have to self fund. I am hoping they will send her for rehabilitation for a while.

Thanks in advance.
Penny that's a difficult one ! As you're probably aware you could be waiting weeks, if not months for a place to become vacant at your chosen nursing home, it's generally a case of "dead men's shoes". There don't seem to be many places for 'convalescence/rehabilitation' like there used to be these days and I suspect the hospital will not be keen on keeping Mum until you have a place for her to go to. (and I suspect neither you nor Mum would want her to stay indefinitely in hospital even if they were prepared to accommodate her for an unspecified amount of time).

Could you have a chat with the PALS office at the hospital to see what would normally happen in similar circumstances or if they have any suggestions ?
I suspect, like my mum, she will be bed-blocking sadly. I would also speak to the hospital social worker and ask her what would happen. Surely it is in everyone's interest to find a solution.
Penny, you tell them to contact Social Services. Self funding or not, she is ultimately their responsibility, NOT YOURS. Make a real effort not to get drawn into discussion, other than repeating "Contact Social Services" like a parrot.
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:58 pm
Penny, you tell them to contact Social Services. Self funding or not, she is ultimately their responsibility, NOT YOURS. Make a real effort not to get drawn into discussion, other than repeating "Contact Social Services" like a parrot.
Am I right in thinking you worked in the area of finding beds Bowlingbun?

We have had such an awful few months with selling Mums house and all that involved, emptying sixty years of her life, her being very unhappy in the Care home, family disputes, it's just gone on and on and we are both exhausted. Then this hospital stay and not being able to find a nursing home formher to go to is absolutely wearing me down.
Penny, I went through a similar situation with my own mum. In my area, the New Forest, we have some good nursing homes, but it's also got one of the highest percentages of elderly in the country. Our LA has a section on it's website showing all availability of beds in the area, often NONE.
So whilst the term "bed blocking" is used, implying that the person concerned is deliberately staying in hospital, the fact is that there is simply nowhere else for them to go locally. Our LA suggested a bed for mum well over an hour's drive away, I absolutely refused as it meant she would be totally isolated, and would therefore breach her human rights to a "normal family life".
Ultimately, the home a mile away had a vacancy, which mum filled, and it was great being able to pop in on the way to the shops. If she needed me to get something for her, I could drop it in on the way back. Our mother/daughter relationship was so much better than when she was living at home when I was responsible for anything and everything the carers wouldn't do.
bowlingbun wrote:
Thu Aug 31, 2017 6:36 am
Penny, I went through a similar situation with my own mum. In my area, the New Forest, we have some good nursing homes, but it's also got one of the highest percentages of elderly in the country. Our LA has a section on it's website showing all availability of beds in the area, often NONE.
So whilst the term "bed blocking" is used, implying that the person concerned is deliberately staying in hospital, the fact is that there is simply nowhere else for them to go locally. Our LA suggested a bed for mum well over an hour's drive away, I absolutely refused as it meant she would be totally isolated, and would therefore breach her human rights to a "normal family life".
Ultimately, the home a mile away had a vacancy, which mum filled, and it was great being able to pop in on the way to the shops. If she needed me to get something for her, I could drop it in on the way back. Our mother/daughter relationship was so much better than when she was living at home when I was responsible for anything and everything the carers wouldn't do.
Thank you Bowlingbun. I don't think our LA shows that online but I will double check.

I'm the same as you, I want mum fairly close as I still like to take her out for a drive or for coffee. Since she's been in that home she has been coming to mine two days a week as she has been unhappy and on one of those days I take her to a dementia group which she loves.

The hospital she's in is an hours drive each way and I couldn't contemplate a journey like that several times a week.
Penny wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:30 pm
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:58 pm
Penny, you tell them to contact Social Services. Self funding or not, she is ultimately their responsibility, NOT YOURS. Make a real effort not to get drawn into discussion, other than repeating "Contact Social Services" like a parrot.
We have had such an awful few months with selling Mums house and all that involved, emptying sixty years of her life, her being very unhappy in the Care home, family disputes, it's just gone on and on and we are both exhausted. Then this hospital stay and not being able to find a nursing home formher to go to is absolutely wearing me down.
Penny I don't know if I can offer practical advice, but I can offer sympathy, I totally empathize with your situation. We probably have a care home to come for my mum at some point, and it's bad enough for everyone now, so I can imagine your current circumstances. I do hope the good people on here can help you with your plight. I am sure somewhere there are answers for you that helps in some way, there's some already hopefully. It's very wearing that I do know, but I also know that it's great you want the best for your mum and I'm sure she appreciates it. My mum's not always good at showing that, but I know she really does - I'm sure your's does too. If nothing else, please take at least a little comfort from that - you only get one mum. As I said, it's probably not much use to you, but I thought I'd say it, anyway - you are not alone!
Lars_1708 wrote:
Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:02 am
Penny wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:30 pm
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:58 pm
Penny, you tell them to contact Social Services. Self funding or not, she is ultimately their responsibility, NOT YOURS. Make a real effort not to get drawn into discussion, other than repeating "Contact Social Services" like a parrot.
We have had such an awful few months with selling Mums house and all that involved, emptying sixty years of her life, her being very unhappy in the Care home, family disputes, it's just gone on and on and we are both exhausted. Then this hospital stay and not being able to find a nursing home formher to go to is absolutely wearing me down.
Penny I don't know if I can offer practical advice, but I can offer sympathy, I totally empathize with your situation. We probably have a care home to come for my mum at some point, and it's bad enough for everyone now, so I can imagine your current circumstances. I do hope the good people on here can help you with your plight. I am sure somewhere there are answers for you that helps in some way, there's some already hopefully. It's very wearing that I do know, but I also know that it's great you want the best for your mum and I'm sure she appreciates it. My mum's not always good at showing that, but I know she really does - I'm sure your's does too. If nothing else, please take at least a little comfort from that - you only get one mum. As I said, it's probably not much use to you, but I thought I'd say it, anyway - you are not alone!
Oh Lars thank you for your lovely post.

Xx
Penny wrote:
Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:16 pm


I have her name down for a place at a nursing home rather than a care home now because I think that will suit her better. They have no places and i haven't actually found a home that does have places around here.
Has the hospital mentioned anything too about your mam possibly being in a nursing home. If so, before you self fund they should undertake a CHC checklist. This will determine if she can then go forward for a full assessment. Whilst waiting on this it might give you a little breathing space for a little while longer.

The following may not be suitable for your family but sharing what a friend of mine did. Her dad did not want to go in a care home or live with one of his family, but he was willing to accept help. Like your mam he was going to self fund too. Only care home placement was too far from his family, so instead they rented from a housing association a 2 bedroom bungalow that deals with those over 55 yrs of age. Although he has his household bills they still amount to less per month than a placement would cost. His family contacted an agency that supplied care assistants 24/7. He is lapping the attention up and is back to having quality time with his family. I am not sure exactly but I think he has 3 regular assistants that do a 2 weekly cycle and 3rd one is to cover holidays, emergencies.

x