"helicopter sisters"

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
My 2 sisters are visiting Saturday week, only the fifth time in 17 months. Previous visits have only lasted about an hour. Lack of support is one thing, lack of interest is toxic. Can go months without them asking how mum, me and my girlfriend are doing.
I would like to challenge them without causing too much rift, to help me to help our mum.
Any advice please?
This is my first time on this forum. I had to go to the job centre today for a three-yearly back to work interview. They pointed me to this forum. So with one ear towards my Mothers room await a call from her any minuet and spotted your request for help.

I have three sisters and two bothers I have asked them, wrote to them moaned at them and still then do the minimum or less. They avoid me and my Mother as best they can. I have been caring single handily for ten years to my 86-year-old Mother the last seven years day and night. I tell then I need a break my legs and ankles swell up due to sitting with my Mother so long. Get very little sleep. I’ve put on four stone due to no excise. That’s just the tip of my complaints. I’ve had four nights off in the seven years even if I’m not well I get no help.

My advice to you would be to write a list of things you would like from them. Fine tune the list. Get them together to hopefully shame them into whatever you need/want.

My experience tells me they would get out of anything they could they got good lives and don’t want these silly interruptions to spoil it.

Make it clear what you want and need you must be direct and sure of what you want from them. Unfortunately, if you are weak like me and easily fobbed off they will pat you on the back and say don’t know how you do it. You are a star one day you will be rewarded. So, don’t be fobbed off be strong and prepared. Good luck.
I have been in a similar situation.

Forget about your siblings, they will not change, but always disappoint you. In opting out, they have no right whatsoever to tell you what you should or should not be doing. You cannot be forced to care, the only power mum or your sisters have over you is the power you let them have.

YOU are in charge. If you want help in the home, arrange it. Want a night off, arrange it. Want a holiday, arrange it.
Ask your doctor to arrange counselling to help you work out where to go from here.

Tell us more about the nature of mum's disability and what you do for her. Does she own her home? Mentally good or bed? Savings over £23,000? Then we can target further advice.