Crisis

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi Jackie,
I look after someone with HD myself. It takes a hell of a lot out of me.
If you have snapped at the person who has been helping out it's because you are human. On many days I feel I am like an overstretched elastic band ready to fly off, and it sounds as if I have a better support package than you.

We complained about the first 3 social workers that were sent round as they were overworked, uninterested or both. We finally have a good one now. Getting more support is a difficult battle but one worth fighting.
Hope you can hang in there through this. Don't forget that *you* are entitled to a carers assessment that includes the right to request a respite. The first step is always to ask for these things.

Good luck with the struggle and I hope that things start to turn around for you soon.
Martin
Thanks

I've been to the doctor and they've prescribed a fairly high dose anti depressants.

Will take them as I'm destroying everyone around me x
Jackie, everyone around is destroying YOU.....

You are 'carrying too much'. The ADs are good, in that they will put a 'shelter' over you for now, and give you a breathing space WHILE YOU WORK OUT what you are going to do to put down some of what you are carrying.

You seem to be blaming yourself, and punishing yourself TOTALLY UNFAIRLY.

You are doing what hardly anyone in this world does - give up your life, strength and just about sanity, to look after another human being. That's an amazing achievement and all you deserve is PRAISE for doing that.

I'm sure the other person is also at cracking point, and that's why they lashed out.

But really, this is a 'sign from god' that you have to start handing the caring over to others, not necessarily totally, but enough to make it possible for you to keep going......

Wishing you well, and I hope the AD's kick in and make life easier, for now, till things are 'sorted properly' in terms of your care burden.
My mum my uncle my grandfather all spent the end of their lives in the local lunatic asylum ( as was then termed ) mum died when I was 12 and my brother 6 after the death of my nana who brought us up despite losing her husband and both her children to hd I took on the guardian ship on my brother and have looked after him since .
I don't have any family no children my partner is getting concerned and the fragile relationship we have is likely to be shattered.

Thanks for listening x
Your partner MUST come first, otherwise you face a lonely future, because your brother is likely to die before you. That's the brutal truth. I was widowed at 54, and believe me, it's so, so lonely. You need to find shared care. As your brother's condition deteriorates he's going to need more and more care, so surely this is the time to look at all the options?
Ask Social Services to do a Needs Assessment for him, a Carers Assessment for you, as a matter of urgency. Sit down with your partner and promise him, and yourself, that this time next year it WILL be very different. Work out between you a priority list of what you find most difficult to manage, and deal with things in order of priority.
You need to dump the guilt, and start feeling proud of what you have done for such a long time. No wonder you are exhausted.
On bad days, I think of the Elton John song "I'm still standing". Or the Helen Reddy song "I am woman..."!