Contacting Social Services without Dads permission?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
By the way social turned up and said yes you could have a stair lift. He sat there meak as a lamb and just nodded.

Months of arguments I've had!

We'll wait until he realises that hes got to pay a bit because of his savings. Which I've told him to spend 1000x rather than hoard but he never listens....
Well you have done your best! I always remember last year trying to get my father to pay for a cleaner and transport to the GP surgery. It was like getting blood out of a stone. I get going on about 'quality of life' and 'you can't take it with you' but it was hard work. Old people with or without dementia are so stubborn and are their own worst enemies.

And the irony of it? My father was taken into hospital where he died. But if he had come out, and the carers 4x a day had not worked out, and they would not have as he was not co-operating before he went in, Social Services would have had to go through the courts to put him in a home as they had 'identified a need of care'. In fairness I agree with this because no way could he have lived alone and he was determined he would not go into a home voluntarily.

All you can do is try. If he will not have a stair lift and breaks his leg and/or falls you have done your very best to prevent this happening. He has 'mental capacity' so take a deep breath and leave him to it. EAsy to say but hard to do I know.....
helena_1512 wrote:Well you have done your best! I always remember last year trying to get my father to pay for a cleaner and transport to the GP surgery. It was like getting blood out of a stone. I get going on about 'quality of life' and 'you can't take it with you' but it was hard work. Old people with or without dementia are so stubborn and are their own worst enemies.

And the irony of it? My father was taken into hospital where he died. But if he had come out, and the carers 4x a day had not worked out, and they would not have as he was not co-operating before he went in, Social Services would have had to go through the courts to put him in a home as they had 'identified a need of care'. In fairness I agree with this because no way could he have lived alone and he was determined he would not go into a home voluntarily.

All you can do is try. If he will not have a stair lift and breaks his leg and/or falls you have done your very best to prevent this happening. He has 'mental capacity' so take a deep breath and leave him to it. EAsy to say but hard to do I know.....
Yep rings a massive bell for me..... He just will not spend ANY money if he can help it. Its nuts.

The old hospital transport thing. He point blank refuses to get a taxi ANYWHERE even if I pay for it. A few times hes expected me to travel from work 60 miles away to give him a life to hospital 5 miles away. Also, I dont get paid when I don't work so it would have cost me £100s.

I did sort out free patient transport. Very good. Trouble is he moaned it turns up 30 mins before he wants to leave (picks up other people). So he STILL asked me to take him ! (as if me travelling 90 mins to get back from work is easier!).
If the elderly person is icing alone at home, and perhaps their house or flat is very cold in winter and they don't switch on adequate heating,
Then the person could possibly be sectioned to hospital.

But conditions in some NHS wards or units for EMI patients are incredibly harsh, I believe
Paul - that's great news!

I have a sneaky idea re the money. Could you tell him that because he is over a certain limit (whatever money he has, you set the number), SS will expect him to make a contribution to the cost of the stairlift, But that you've read here (or whatever) that the way to 'avoid' this charge is for him to loan you (note LOAN) whatever the amount is that would take him down below this contributory-threshold, and then the stairlift will be 'completely free Dad!'

If you say it's a loan, he might be willing, and what you can do is simply set it up as a 'note of hand'. This is simply a typed (or handwritten) statement by you saying 'I have received the sum of £xxx as a loan, from My father, Mr xxxx, to be repaid by xxxx (date), in whole, with the addition of x percent interest'. Then sign it and date it. It's legal and valid, and should, I would hope 'convince' your father that he has 'got one over' the SS and their army of impudent bureaucrats (etc etc).

Of course, you actually use the loan money to pay the contribution he'll need to make - but never tell him that

Make sure you put a long repayment date on - or better still, none at all. Depends whether he'll expect it back again later. You could say that because of the funding rules he has to remain 'under the threshold' for a year, or they'll claim back the sum he 'should' have contributed because 'you know what they're like Dad - absolute vultures if they get the chance!)

Fingers crossed this might work???!!!
jenny lucas wrote:Paul - that's great news!

I have a sneaky idea re the money. Could you tell him that because he is over a certain limit (whatever money he has, you set the number), SS will expect him to make a contribution to the cost of the stairlift, But that you've read here (or whatever) that the way to 'avoid' this charge is for him to loan you (note LOAN) whatever the amount is that would take him down below this contributory-threshold, and then the stairlift will be 'completely free Dad!'

If you say it's a loan, he might be willing, and what you can do is simply set it up as a 'note of hand'. This is simply a typed (or handwritten) statement by you saying 'I have received the sum of £xxx as a loan, from My father, Mr xxxx, to be repaid by xxxx (date), in whole, with the addition of x percent interest'. Then sign it and date it. It's legal and valid, and should, I would hope 'convince' your father that he has 'got one over' the SS and their army of impudent bureaucrats (etc etc).

Of course, you actually use the loan money to pay the contribution he'll need to make - but never tell him that

Make sure you put a long repayment date on - or better still, none at all. Depends whether he'll expect it back again later. You could say that because of the funding rules he has to remain 'under the threshold' for a year, or they'll claim back the sum he 'should' have contributed because 'you know what they're like Dad - absolute vultures if they get the chance!)

Fingers crossed this might work???!!!
Cheers Jenny. I've tried this in the past....

I know there are rules about stashing away you're income but, as I've always said to Dad, you can spend what you want or you can give away/loan amounts as long as its reasonable.

He gets less pension credit that he could because he is over the limit. Not a huge amount so with a bit of effort he could get under it. As you say, same for SS stuff.

In the past, I got him to agree to me opening an account and him loaning it to me like that. But he refused to put much in and ended up being £100 a month which was pretty pointless (it would have taken 20 years to get under the limit). Also, he'd have an idea and say, its pointless keeping all my money, I want you and your brother to have some.Good idea but then he asks how much is in the account and to take a few hundred out for me and same for brother. So back to square one because he hasnt touched his main stash !!

Even though I say to him look its yours to have back at any time (although I know hes never going to need it) it sort of burns a hole and he knows its there and wants to spend it before touching his main stash.

In the past, brother has had financial problems. Mostly his own fault but thats another story. I've said to Dad, look Im ok, I have no issue with you giving money to brother to help him out - I wont demand the same etc.

At the time brothers car packed up (didnt think ahead and save money when he was working though) so I said look he cant get to work with no car, so you might like to help him out.

£500 he gave him when he could easily have afforded a good few £K. Quality car for £500!!!!!!