Caring, Social Services, Direct Payments, Respite et al

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
This has just occurred to me.......... is anyone else in agreement?

Right, we have now acknowledged our new status in life - he, the cared for, me, the carer.
Social Services throw Direct Payments our way, but I have to work out an acceptable way of spending it - without any knowledge of what is available, what is affordable and what is best for us as a couple.

It's taken me months to even half way get my head around this. But overnight, with the help of a local facility I have worked something out that will give me about 28 hours respite per month in one chunk - and this sounds marvellous.

He, does not believe he is 'like the people with dementia' - even though he is.

I have to either TELL him the respite idea IS GOING TO HAPPEN,
or try to discuss it with him and see what he says - this puts me in an uncomfortable situation since it is not very long since we discussed everything together and made joint decisions. Ineffect I have to make him see that I NEED him to be gone out of the house for a certain length of time. This feels disloyal.

I feel it is a cop out on behalf of Social Services. Would it not be so much better for my relationship with the poor ould fella, if someone came to the house and just told him " Your partner needs a regular break, we have found somewhere, and this is where you will go"

That would take all the onus off me and the risk of alienating him from me by discussions I feel uncomfortable about - but then officialdom aren't into making life acceptable for us are they???
Were you told that YOU had to manage the Direct Payments? Not so. You should have a choice of "commissioned care" ie arranged directly by the LA, OR having a "Fund Manager" appointed by the LA to arrange the care needed AND do all the paperwork. Was this explained or offered?
I gave up handling my son's DP's 18 months ago. Care providers wanted the money to do what they liked with, ignoring my basic instructions.
A Carers UK guide to DPs ... what obligations there are and other useful information :

http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice ... t-payments

For a legal guide to the same ... heavy going but contains some useful stuff ... especially on yellow / red card offences :

http://www.landmarkchambers.co.uk/userf ... yments.pdf

Sleepovers ?

Watch out for that mine should you consider using it to facilitate a break from caring !!!
Chris From The Gulag wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:48 am
A Carers UK guide to DPs ... what obligations there are and other useful information :

http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice ... t-payments

For a legal guide to the same ... heavy going but contains some useful stuff ... especially on yellow / red card offences :

http://www.landmarkchambers.co.uk/userf ... yments.pdf

Sleepovers ?

Watch out for that mine should you consider using it to facilitate a break from caring !!!
What do you mean watching out for sleepovers? I am planning that he stays overnight at a respite care facility for people with dementia, would that be Ok do you think?
Sleepovers ?

A reference when employing someone to " Watch over " one's caree , usually during the night ... minimum wage and other considerations.

Separate thread on the subject for anyone doing just that.

One aspect of DPs ... employer / employee relationship ... not many LAs will spell that out to recipients.

A potential minefield ... for some.
Chris From The Gulag wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:48 am
A Carers UK guide to DPs ... what obligations there are and other useful information :

http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice ... t-payments

For a legal guide to the same ... heavy going but contains some useful stuff ... especially on yellow / red card offences :

http://www.landmarkchambers.co.uk/userf ... yments.pdf

Sleepovers ?

Watch out for that mine should you consider using it to facilitate a break from caring !!!
What do you mean watching out for sleepovers? I am planning that he stays overnight at a respite care facility for people with dementia, would that be Ok do you think?
Without knowing what the guidelines provide , seems like a practical use of DPs ?

DPs have been with us for less than 10 years ... still several grey areas ... and some indication of the post code lottery gleamed from several postings over the years.

To stay within , and not stray from , the guidelines would be the logical choice.
Chris From The Gulag wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:50 am
Sleepovers ?

A reference when employing someone to " Watch over " one's caree , usually during the night ... minimum wage and other considerations.

Separate thread on the subject for anyone doing just that.

One aspect of DPs ... employer / employee relationship ... not many LAs will spell that out to recipients.

A potential minefield ... for some.
Thanks Chris, I understand that now........
DPs ?

I wish I did ... merely a concept when my caring days ended.

Quite a bit on CarerWatch discussing that concept ... majority in favour of ... " Thanks but , no thanks ! " ... short end of the wedge when looking at the privatization of social care / no real benefit for lone carers with carees ( My second main argument ) ... fast forward to 2017 and what do we find ???

Still , must move with the times ... must I ???