Am I being Unreasonable?

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Hi

I'd be very grateful for your thoughts about whether I am being unreasonable? I'm very stressed at the moment so it's not always easy to tell.

My father is 73 years old, severely disabled and terminally ill. He is hempiplegic following a stroke, on Dialysis following kidney failure, deaf in one ear, blind in one eye, has colitis, stents in his heart following several heart attacks , diabetes, high blood pressure etc. Today, as for the past two years he was due to have Dialysis at 12 noon. He normally goes by patient transport/ambulance as his mobility is very poor. The ambulance picked him up at 8.30 but he didn't arrive. The nurses didn't call me to say he wasn't there instead I heard from another hospital worker who is a friendly with my dad who called to say he was worried about him. This was 3 and a half hours after he was due to have started his treatment! I phoned the nurses immediately - they said they had been phoning his home but no answer ( I was at work and they didn't call my mobile). They said they had assumed he had taken himself home for some unknown reason or simply not got on the transport. I asked a neighbour to check his flat - he wasn't there. I phoned the patient transport people up and they looked for him- they investigated and found he had been dropped at another hospital ( the staff in the Dialysis unit had filled in the forms incorrectly sending him to the wrong hospital). He had been waiting over 5.30 hours!! . I let the Dialysis unit know where he was and arranged for him to be driven to the unit . After a huge argument they agreed to change his slot so he can have Dialysis. This will also mess his care arrangements up - I will have to let the carer know so she can go home and I will go and provide care for him tonight ( no idea what time he'll get back and whether they will arrange patient transport for him: they are too busy having their break to speak to me!! ).

I'm just so cross- most of all that he was missing for three and a half hours and no one bothered to contact me. Anything could have happened to him. Also that they consistently disregard the wider impact that things like this have on his care arrangements- they frequently do things like this. Just not sure that complaining gets you anywhere but feel so frustrated and angry that they are so unprofessional and uncaring. I feel like I'm constantly let down by them, they don't care and there are never any consequences. So very upset and annoyed.
My severely mentally disabled son went missing for 90 minutes last week, it's so frustrating.

You must make a formal complaint in writing/email to the complaints officer at the Ambulance Service, and the dialysis unit. Make it clear that you CANNOT deal with transport issues etc. as you are working and he is THEIR responsibility when in THEIR CARE.
bowlingbun wrote:My severely mentally disabled son went missing for 90 minutes last week, it's so frustrating.

You must make a formal complaint in writing/email to the complaints officer at the Ambulance Service, and the dialysis unit. Make it clear that you CANNOT deal with transport issues etc. as you are working and he is THEIR responsibility when in THEIR CARE.
to be fair BB the fault lies entirely with the Dialysis unit, and not Patient Transport - they can only go by the i information they are given !

and, no Faye I don't think you are being unreasonable - if dialysis is required then it can't be messed about with, it is very important that it takes place when it should, there is no excuse for this kind of error which is, potentially, life threatening.
Susie, whilst that's true, I find it difficult to believe that there are no double checks. After all, before you have anything done in a hospital you have to give your name etc. so many times. Perhaps the ambulance service should double check with patients that they are on the right "bus"? Especially when it's a patient going for regular (and life saving) treatment.
I agree with @bowlingbun it is powerful!
Could you pass this by a solicitor who deals in medical negligence I wonder? It could be that IF, for example, your father had had some kind of collapse (eg, gone into acute renal failure because is dialysis was delayed, or whatever grim grim grim things happen when the blood is not flushed of its accumulating toxins), then you might have been in a position to sue the hospital blind for negligence! If that is so, I would point that out in writing to the hospital (and to their legal department by the way!)

I'm afraid the whole sorry saga just reeks of the general 'collapse' going on in the NHS due to all the chronic problems of underfunding and running it like a third world country (sigh).

The key point is that if you do not have some kind of 'legal guardianship' over your father, then you have NO responsibility for him, so it is NOT your job to get him to the dialysis unit (at the right hospital at the right time.)

I'm glad he was OK in the end, but it might have been a different story.....