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Re: Autism

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:51 pm
by MrsAverage
Hi Katie
You have 2 years until he is 18 so try not to worry too muchtoo soon. Instead try spending the time preparing him to be an independent adult.
Tell him all the things he will need to do for himself such as cleaning , cooking, laundry, working, earning, paying bills, getting himself up in the morning etc.
As you start to teach him one thing ata time, starting with his most hated such as cleaning, You may well find that he slowly starts to realise that it is not such a good idea after all
Try also doing the equivalent of star chart where you list everything he needs to know . It will look more daunting when it's written down and displayed and the ticks get harder to achieve.

Of course if he does achieve them all, then he will be able to independent. :P

You will have to be firm , for example if he is to do his own laundry then don't step in (once he's been taught enough) . Pace it, don't do it all at once as that will overload him and graduallyyou may find his intention changes and he finds something else to

I have a male relative with autism who has a thing against most cleaning chemicals, but gradually he even takes part in washing up - he does the drying. He loathed living on his own as he hates dirt but also hates cleaning. :roll:

Re: Autism

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:17 pm
by Katie_1708
Thanks mrs average that's very helpful actually if I do write all the stuff down he needs to do it might just make him think it's too overwhelming!
He goads me everyday saying he will leave on his 18th birthday and live with someone called Declan in Birmingham, he thinks the best in everything and thinks him and this boy will be doing some sort of business I suggest it will be illegal and ben is going to get in trouble.
Ben knows at 18 he can leave and there is nothing I can do but get the police to do welfare checks and he will say he's fine!
Ben says he doesn't want to keep in touch with me etc

Re: Autism

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:01 pm
by MrsAverage
Have you met this Declan?
If you haven't and Ben has only met him online, you could ask the police to check him out for possible grooming as Ben is a vulnerable young person.

Check out the Breck Foundation a charity set up by a mum after her son was duped online, and sadly murdered by the groomer who tempted him with promises of running a business. There lots of useful advice on staying safe online
http://www.breckfoundation.org

Re: Autism

Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 10:53 pm
by Katie_1708
Another update on a situation getting out of control!
Ben has found out via the internet he can leave home at 16! Not 18 without parents consent as long as it's classed as a safe place even friends sofas etc are deemed ok I rang social worker who confirmed it. He's now stopped going to school as can't be bothered and is trying to get a lift to go to his so called friends. I live in the countryside and his OCD would not allow him to walk or take a bus because of the dirt.
He asks me to take him of course I refused. I want him to be safe but I do fear ben has to learn a lesson for himself how tough the outside world is! But he is vulnerable so extremely concerned 😳
At home he's a nightmare to live with controlling, arrogant will goad me every day for reactions.
Social worker have told me they won't be giving me any respite which makes matters worse as I have no break.
I hope I don't have a breakdown myself

Re: Autism

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:02 am
by bowlingbun
What benefits are you currently claiming for hin? Are you his DWP appointee?

Re: Autism

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 7:29 pm
by Katie_1708
I'm his appointee I've got someone coming round in a week from pip regarding the change from dla to pip I hope it's nothing to worry about as ben needs this money moving forward