Husband has been sectioned

[Rebecca_17051234]

I'm new to the forum and am hoping I can find some people who understand what I am going through. My husband has been struggling for a long time - he is an alcoholic which I think has masked the fact that he has some pretty serious mental health issues. He hasn't been formally diagnosed with anything except anxiety but I am fairly sure it goes beyond this.

Things have been very up and down for a while but have reached a peak in the last couple of weeks. Last weekend he got drunk and walked out in front of a car - he was lucky to escape with only fairly minor cuts and bruises, though his face looked pretty horrific afterwards. He was taken to hospital and I spent several hours there trying to talk to the psychiatric team before I had to leave to get our daughter. They did finally assess him but basically just let him go home and gave him a number to call. This kind of approach just doesn't work for him - he calls the numbers, but he isn't really psychologically capable of sticking at it and following a care plan through. The alcohol is clearly a massive contributory factor but the problem is that he isn't getting to grips with what is making him drink in the first place. Anyway, this weekend things deteriorated again and he was found by police in the middle of town, pretty out of it and telling them he just wanted to die. Because he said this they accompanied him to hospital and pushed for a more serious assessment, and he was subsequently taken to a psychiatric unit in Tooting. He is still there today and is due to be assessed shortly. I have no idea what to expect from here They just let me speak to him on the phone and he sounds ok, but this is always the way for him - he hits rock bottom and then bounces back, and then the cycle begins again.

This all feels a little surreal to me - I didn't expect our life together to turn out this way and can't imagine a calmer future right now. Because we have a child I am seriously worried about keeping her in this situation, but equally don't want to turn my back on him at this time. He doesn't work, has no supportive family. My daughter and I are basically all he has. I want him to recover, and to be there for him, but part of me feels so depressed at the thought of spending my life this way. I feel the right medication could help but I don't know if things are likely to move in this direction. Basically any experiences or inside knowledge would be really helpful to me right now. Thanks for listening.

[MrsAverage]

Hi Rebecca
I was so sorry to hear your story. Mental health and alcoholism is a chicken and egg situation and hopefully now he is more on the radar he will get more help.
I have relative who has been sectioned and a friend who had alcoholism so have been that route several times. It's tough.

The best place for info for you is MIND https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/
their website has huge amounts of information and I suggest you start with 'inpatient' and 'sectioning' . Likewise, with cuts everywhere, be prepared for discharge and little or no help either
Mind also has a helpline and local support groups.

Any mental health issue is a long haul, for the carer as well. You need to realise that you cannot cure him, only he and the professionals can do that. Your role is to keep yourself and your daughter safe and healthy mentally as well as physically to be able to support him, but not to over compensate for his illness and thereby allow or enable him to stay unwell.

There are threads on here under 'Mental illness' that you will find useful, if a little scary at first.

It's a big subject, so at first just research and rest while he is in safe hands.

Hope this helps
Kr
MrsA
Ps, yes he is likely to be put on medication while in the unit

[Debra_16011]

Hi Rebecca and welcome. So sorry you're going through such a bad time at the moment. From my own experience with my son who has severe mental health problems he only began to improve once he had been sectioned. Before then we were getting nowhere being fobbed off and no one listening to us all the time my son deteriorating mentally. He was started on medication and although we have bad times now at least he is being monitored. Mrs A is right it's a long haul and at times seems a thankless job so you need to look after yourself and your daughter in order to help your husband. Take any help available such as carers groups like Rethink, Mind and also let off steam on here if you need to. I discovered this forum at 3 in the morning when I was sitting on the landing in floods of tears and I'm certain it's saved my sanity on lots of occasions. All good luck on your journey x

[Pet66]

Hi Rebecca.
Welcome to the forum.
My situation is different to yours as my husband is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia.
However I want to welcome you and hope, as I have, that you will find the forum supportive. You can vent etc, no one judges.
X

[Sarah_170512345678]

Hi Rebecca,

My partner was sectioned - and I was completely out of the loop on all of it so I can understand your confusion.

I had phoned the police as we had a huge fight and I thought he was going to kill himself. He got arrested and after release he blamed me. He stayed at his mums and then later was sectioned.

We had no contact and I only got updates from his mum however this did him a lot of good and although traumatic was a massive step in addressing his issues and getting him the right help.

We eventually found our way back to each other although currently going through another tough time.

I hope he embraces the help he is given and takes a step towards recovery