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Is It A Bird Or Is It A Plane ?

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:57 am
by Chris From The Gulag
Picture the scene.

Two lone carers having a natter over the garden fence.

Agree to sump up their last 50p each , and play that night's thunderball draw.

Next morning , sounds of cheering , they have just won a £ 1,000 !

Secret squirrell session , both agree on a night out , first together for years.

One phones the Local SS to arrange for 5 hours emergency cover for each on any day that would fit in with the LA's schedule.

Just under a year later , our two carers go out for the night.

After paying the " Nice " LA for their service , they are left with £ 20.

Off to the last local watering hole left in the manor they go.

" £ 3.50 for a pint ? Last time I came out for a pint , I got change out of a ten bob note ! "

Well , being lone carers , their leisure time has been somewhat sparce over the years ... ?

Couple of pints each later , and both are slightly under the weather as such past pleasures have been strictly forbotten in their caring years.

Argument breaks out as to whether Carers Allowance is an Replacement Income Allowance or Benefit.

At the crucial moment , two Law Lords , obviously lost , drop in and overhear the argument.

One asks one of the carers " Just how much is this payment worth ".

Carer explains to both Lords , leaving each to ponder.

One Lord had a social conscience having been born the son of a housemaid who attracted the attention of her boss , a local Lord.

Both lords ponder on this information , and agree to consult with a few others in the Chamber.

A few days later , five fully fledged Law Lords meet , in the traditional chamber . where the highest Court in the land officiate , to reach a decision on this Issue.

Later that day , the Lord with the social conscience announces the decision to selected members of the media.

" By an unanimous verdict , we have reached a decision that will be important to all carers out there. Henceforth , Carers Allowance will be removed from the Statue Book , and be replaced by a new , more apt , name which clears up once and for all the long running dispute as to whether it's a replacement income allowance , or , indeed , a benefit.

What it was is now in the past. What it is is a *** bleep **** insult to carers and , henceforth be now know for what it really is .... The Carers Insult. "

A few days later , a brief meeting of the All Party Carers Group.

One member says to another ... " Ever heard that *** bleep *** word used by any carers representative we meet ? "

" Not in my tenure. After all , language used by carers is always translated beforehand into words we can actually understand ... of sorts. We are politicians , what do we know of carers ? "

#############################################################

Probably one of my mildest yet. A couple of the real juicy ones would never get pass the Green Lights on here , as one Green Light could confirm , smiling at the mere thought of a straight red several times over coming my way ?

Chas and Stan ? Bird watching on the Isle of Wight ... for the next few years or so.

Nice hotel ? Parkhurst so I'm told. For many of our elderly citizens , a definite improvement on their care home ??? Anything you want available on demand , just ask a cash strapped screw !

Their memories will have to wait for publication a little longer. There again , I could always publish a few " Likely " events only to be confirmed when the boys return to what will be left of their manor.

Still awaiting confirmation of who did knobble Carers Radio ahead of the last agm but , every time one makes enquiries , up goes the price , now almost on par with Orgreave ????

Re: Is It A Bird Or Is It A Plane ?

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 2:27 pm
by rosemary
Chris, at first glance your post above could have passed as a Monty Python sketch from years ago.

Then this bit made me smile.......
One Lord had a social conscience having been born the son of a housemaid who attracted the attention of her boss , a local Lord.
.......as it looks like you have read too many Mills and Boon books :o :shock: :lol:


The fact is once you read the post a few times you see the truth between the lines, and you have covered several points. Low level of CA, how difficult it can be to arrange cover and how long you sometimes have to wait. Then the cost of said replacement care. The whole situation is a nightmare.

x x

Re: Is It A Bird Or Is It A Plane ?

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 2:42 pm
by Chris From The Gulag
Perhaps a little more " Hidden " given the author ?

Beep , beep ... for now ?

Now , that would be worth more than ten as a starter on that challenge ?

Python ?

I used to get up when the bugle sounded at 4 am , having gone to bed at 5 am , cared for 25 hours for 8 days a week , had to scrap my scraps off the unpolished floor having first burgled the waste bins outside the local food bank , and still found time to write a letter to the editor of the Daily Telegraph.

And you think that's being poor ? ... etc. etc.

ENOUGH !

Now onto something completely different .... ?

Re: Is It A Bird Or Is It A Plane ?

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 3:27 pm
by susieq
rosemary wrote:
The fact is once you read the post a few times you see the truth between the lines, and you have covered several points. Low level of CA, how difficult it can be to arrange cover and how long you sometimes have to wait. Then the cost of said replacement care. The whole situation is a nightmare.
I have trouble understanding what Chris is on about most of the time even after reading his posts a few times - I thought I was an intelligent, well educated woman ! Just wish he wouldn't be quite so cryptic :roll: (Actually if was less cryptic he would probably get more responses :o )

Re: Is It A Bird Or Is It A Plane ?

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 3:43 pm
by Chris From The Gulag
I have trouble understanding what Chris is on about most of the time even after reading his posts a few times - I thought I was an intelligent, well educated woman ! Just wish he wouldn't be quite so cryptic :roll: (Actually if was less cryptic he would probably get more responses
In business , the difference between being awarded a knighthood and a stretch in Pentonville prison is a very fine dividing line .... as a certain sailor will know ???

Similar on the Forum , a laugh or an early Christmas card , usually yellow.

Being " Cryptical " is part of the challenge of asking the same old questions / making the same observations as many others have made ever since carer forums came into existence very early in this century appear fresh , especially to any recent readers not familar with carer forum history.

Take the above " Spoof ". Issues highlighted in there could have been posted elsewhere , read , and soon forgotten. Very much a " We've heard it all before " type reaction. Same for the Recruitment Poster thread. A new way of highlighting essential carer issues without the stigma of the traditional way our issues have been made known to any outsiders before.

Rather than merely " Cut and paste " from the archives , a new approach when compared with the traditional way of promoting discussion , a loose cannon if you prefer.

After all , nothing traditional has seldomed worked in carer circles for close on 20 years ?

Try explaining the traditional way of dealing with carer issues to the increasing number of our fellow carers currently relying on food banks. What would they tell you ? I would suggest that a few *** beep *** bleeps would be present in most replies ???

If you had a product to sell and it wasn't selling , what would you do ? Reduce the price ? Return to your wholesaler ? Even bin it ? Letting it sit gathering dust isn't the answer. In the same context , your traditional argument isn't working. What would you do.

Even on CarerWatch , there were important issue threads which became somewhat tedious after a while. They needed a injection of fresh thinking , more by way of style as opposed to content.

Do any seasoned readers want to see old arguments / observations repeated ?

Most readers faced with a deluge of repeated tv programs would simply switch off.

If I had a tv , I would do the same.

After all , if my beloved O's lost 5-0 , switching over to another channel to see if they only lost 4-0 on there's isn't going to work ? In any event , it was 6-0 !

Try the traditional columns in the Eye , always bearing in mind they have a small army of lawyers at hand should one cryptic article be a little too easy to decipher , and too near the mark !

Me ? I tend to wear my " Beep , beep " shoes when posting on 'ere .... ???

As an old mate of mine used to say ... " Be seeing you ! " .... ???